All domestic violence survivors have been blamed for the abuse countless times by their abusers. So much so, that the survivors begin to believe that they are the cause of what’s happened to them. Even once they are out of the situation, their own brain continues this cycle of self-blame. What is self-blame and what are ways that survivors can overcome it?
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Navigating the rough waters that is divorce is hard enough when doing so with two normal healthy people. But it's exponentially more difficult when dealing with a Narcissist. This guest blog explores the difficulties a person can face when divorcing a Narcissist.
(Please note that this blog makes mention of the Facebook page Recovering from a relationship with a Narcissist - The Original. That page merged with FFNAEA in June 2017.)
We will face several challenges as survivors of Narcissistic Abuse. One of those challenges is understanding the effects that our experience will have on other relationships in our lives. We will likely not have the same outlook towards those in our lives.
Part of the game that Narcissists play is to condition us to believe that we are at fault for all that goes wrong in the relationship. Whatever your relationship with the Narcissist is (parent, sibling, significant other), they will cause us to blame ourselves for their actions, our reactions and the downfall of the relationship. So how do we escape that self blame?
The words domestic violence carry with them a strong connotation of hurt, betrayal and pain. In this pain, survivors of DV know that their lives will never be the same again.
Rediscovering ourselves in our healing journeys plays a pivotal role in how we regain our strength and freedom. Oftentimes, we withdraw from things we love to do or that make us happy. Finding those activities again is an important step in our healing journeys.
The truth, for many, is an intimidating concept. It’s why many of us seem to bend the truth from time to time in our daily lives. But the importance of truth plays a pivotal role in our recovery from Narcissistic Abuse. Our truth becomes our lifeline.
After Narcissistic Abuse, many survivors find it near impossible to trust anyone again. No matter who crosses paths with us, we begin to question everyone’s motives. Why do they want to help us? Why do they want to be friends with us? Why do they want to love us? But there will come a day when we will love and trust again.
Communicating with Narcissists is not an easy task. We must be prepared for the onslaught of circular conversations, underhanded putdowns, verbal jabs and more. If we can avoid contact and conversations with the Narcissists, then we must do so. However, it is when we must communicate with them that we must be on guard.
All survivors want in the aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse is to thrive, and not merely survive. It IS possible to thrive after Narcissistic Abuse, my friends. It just takes time and patience.
Whether we are just beginning our healing journeys or we are well into them, one thing can stand clear for many survivors – that we can feel clear resentment after the abuse. But how do you let go of that resentment and not let it consume you?
I cannot believe that today marks two years that I pressed “publish” on this website. It has been an incredible journey. A journey filled with insight and knowledge. I have learned so much over the last two years, and I have you to thank, my readers.
It is not only possible, but achievable to have a life after the Narcissists. But how? How can we have a life after the Narcissists, especially when they seemingly have broken us down, torn our emotions to shreds, and destroyed our self-worth and our confidence?
In our healing journeys, we are bound to come across those who tell us how to heal. We may be told to “get over it” or “aren’t you healed yet” and things of that nature. What outsiders don’t understand is this: We are the captains of our recovery ships.
In a post Narcissist life, all we want is peace and tranquility. To leave the craziness behind. To not have the gaslighting, the accusations, the intimidation, the threats. So, survivors employ the use of a method called Gray Rock, and it can be especially helpful in our healing journeys.
Listening to others when they speak is perhaps one of the most important tools we have as a society. In fact, its effectiveness can be seen in the way we interact with others at work, at school or anywhere else. Many times, we listen with the intent to respond to the other person. Because of this, we often times miss the core of the other person’s message. This is where active listening comes in.
Last week’s blog discussed ways that you can foster a deeper bond with your children despite the Narcissist’s attempts to destroy that bond. But what happens when roadblocks prevent communication with your children? What happens when you’re not certain of how to communicate with your children and you inadvertently create these roadblocks?
Relationships with Narcissists are tumultuous at best. When we have children with them, it becomes a whole new ballgame, as the children are typically used against the healthy parent in ways that would make an outsider’s head spin. But despite the nature of Narc relationships, there are ways to maintain a close bond to your children.
In our healing journeys, we often wonder why we have difficulties from moving forward. This guest blog explores the five reasons why we become stuck in our healing journeys. Have you felt any of these five things? Comment below.
I get it. I was there. I felt the same way. I was torn between what I felt and what I could see with my own eyes. This guest blog post explores what many survivors feel post discard. The feelings that linger long after the Narcissist disappears. We still love them. But why?
Rediscovering who we are after Narcissistic Abuse is an important part in our healing journeys. Because of the Narcissists, we had become disconnected from who we really are. We became a shell of our former selves. We didn’t recognize ourselves. So how can we reconnect with ourselves in our healing journey?
When I read the book Psychopath Free, I was floored with how much I could relate to it. Although there were a vast number of parts to the book that struck a chord in me, one particular part got me truly thinking. And that part is having a Constant. Having a Constant in Narcissistic Abuse recovery is vital.
Our bodies react to our natural surroundings. If it’s cold out, we shiver. Conversely, if it’s hot out, we sweat. The same can be said about our bodies if we find ourselves in a stressful situation. It’s a chain reaction within our bodies in response to outside stressors. This is called the Fight or Flight Response.
When you’ve made the decision to leave the Narcissist, there are barriers you may face when doing so. These obstacles can make it more difficult for your escape to be successful.
You’ve made the decision. You want to leave. You’ve had enough and you need to get out. But how? There are dos and don’ts when it comes to safely leaving the Narcissist.
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Welcome
Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship How I Lost My Identity The Fake Apology Effects of Emotional Abuse Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign Emotionally Abusive Behaviors Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation Emotional Rape Categories
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.
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