When I found out my NX had a new supply, the first question that popped into my mind was, “Will she be good to my children?” This is a very valid question to ask, my warrior survivor friends.
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It is inevitable in our lives that we will eventually cross paths with the every day garden variety bully. The bully who thinks the world of themselves. The bully who humiliates others on social media. The bully who intimidates and threatens to get their way. So what happens when we “meet” this bully? What can we do to thwart their tactics?
I have always believed that children are astute observers. They take in much more than we adults give them credit for. And from all their observations, they are more susceptible to feeling the effects of emotional abuse.
When there is great loss in our lives, it can be so difficult to process. And that’s when it’s a normal every day loss. What about when the loss is due to a toxic relationship that came to a sudden end? We still need to process the grief we feel. Processing grief properly is so vital to our healing journey.
Not long ago, a reader asked this question. I even had a bad day to the point where I began asking the question too. Why do Narcissists always seem to be winning and on the top? Why do they seem to catch all the breaks?
This is a special blog post today, my warrior survivor friends. I don’t normally publish twice on Wednesdays, but this situation needs to be addressed. Again. This isn’t so much as a “turning on each other” post as it is dealing with a page that has turned on mine.
Trust is essential to the success of any kind of relationship – between significant others, between parent and child, between friends. No matter the type of relationship, one thing stands clear. Trust is earned, not given.
Knowing what I know about Narcissists, and knowing what I know about my NX, I have been wondering if either of my children will become a Narcissist. It’s a valid concern for survivors who have children with the Narcissist.
Healing from Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse is difficult at best. Why? It isn’t fair that we are the ones who have to do all the work. Much of that work comes in the form of finding the right therapist to conduct one on one counseling with us.
You found the love of your life. Things seem great…for a while. Then things began to get edgy. Your love began to devalue you. You aren’t thought of in the same way as when the relationship first began. You begin to feel that how the person is treating you isn’t quite right. You can’t put your finger on it. Then, from what seems like out of nowhere, you are dumped. Discarded like yesterday’s trash. Yet, even after the supposed end of the relationship, the abuse is continuing. So if the relationship is over, why does the abuse still happen? Why does the abuse continue even after the discard?
When a person enters into a 12 Step program, one of the first things he or she learns is that admitting to the issue propels him or her into recovery. It’s the first step. Admitting what’s wrong. When we admit to our hurt, we essentially set the wheels in motion to begin our recovery.
Out of all the questions that ran through my mind in my healing journey, the one that kept coming up is “Why did he choose me?” Knowing why the Narcissists choose us is essential to our healing and recovery.
It’s so hard to believe that I began this blog one year ago today. With great trepidation, I pressed the publish button on the page. I couldn’t believe it. I was a blogger! In the past year, I have published 125 blogs (including this one) on Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse. I have discussed characteristics, tactics and healing methods. I have learned so much in the past year!
When I began my healing journey, I came across the term Narc-Dipping. I had never heard that term before. The more I read, the more I began to understand that Narc-Dipping is an unhealthy thing for survivors to take part in.
In my youth, I envisioned a life with a partner who was loving and attentive. We’d have children, live in a beautiful home. The perfect happy life you dream about as a child. But that was not to be. My marriage was one that was riddled with narcissistic and emotional abuse, financial abuse, and even some physical abuse. I did not have the perfect life that I had dreamed about as a child. What I endured was nothing short of a nightmare. I still can’t believe this happened to me.
When I was with my NX, I struggled with wanting the abuse to end, but at the same time, I felt the only way to survive was to go along with the abuse and even defend him. What I felt and endured is known as Stockholm Syndrome.
A Narcissist’s smear campaign is an underhanded way to destroy a survivor’s credibility and reputation. The Narcissist will spread vicious lies and rumors, all the while playing the “woe is me” card and playing the victim. Naturally, all we want to do is verbalize our innocence and defend ourselves against this smear campaign. But doing so is a very bad idea.
There are many facets to healing from Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse. One of these facets is rebuilding your self-esteem. More specifically, building and cultivating a healthy self-esteem. How is this done, especially when the Narcissists pull out every tactic in the book to tear us down?
Trauma of any kind is a complicated experience. It affects our psyche in so many ways. And when you experience trauma and cross paths with someone who hasn’t, it becomes even more complex because that outsider just doesn’t understand the full impact the trauma has had on you. Sometimes, this can lead to being retraumatized.
Boundaries are vital to maintaining your physical and emotional well-being. With Narcissists, you need to keep in mind that they will tests these boundaries any chance they get. Stay steadfast in your boundaries. This guest post explores how you can make and keep better boundaries to ensure the Narcissists don't wiggle their way back in to your healing soul.
Once you have that light bulb moment and begin to see the Narcissists for what they are, you will begin to see their fake persona begin to shatter. You will see the Narcissist scramble to do damage control.
When we are in a Narcissistic relationship, we are not aware of the constant state of stress that our bodies are in. We also are not aware of what that constant state of stress does to our bodies. Narcissists will leave you feeling utterly exhausted.
I have asked myself that question numerous times. They plot. They scheme. They smear our good name. They destroy our spirit. They want to see us fall. They want to see us “lose it” so that they can point the fingers and say we’re the unstable ones. Why do they do this? Why do Narcissists hate us so much?
No matter how long you've been on the path of healing and recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, you will continually learn new things to propel you forward. I learned one such thing recently. The power of Meh.
I get it. Your love for the Narcissist was so real. You were sure the Narcissist felt the same way, too. Unfortunately, Narcissists cannot and do not love anyone. Their love was not real. It was all fake. They built their “love” under a fake persona. Their false self.
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Welcome
Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship How I Lost My Identity The Fake Apology Effects of Emotional Abuse Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign Emotionally Abusive Behaviors Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation Emotional Rape Categories
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.
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