It is not only possible, but achievable to have a life after the Narcissists. But how? How can we have a life after the Narcissists, especially when they seemingly have broken us down, torn our emotions to shreds, and destroyed our self-worth and our confidence?
After the discard, we are so broken. Broken emotionally. Broken mentally. And sometimes, even broken physically. So it stands to reason that so many survivors cannot grasp the notion that it IS possible to have a life after the abuser.
I know how chaotic life can be after The Discard. We are so fearful of sinking below the murky waters that is life post-Narc. We don’t know where to go. We don’t know how to feel. We don’t know how to survive.
Reclaiming your power post-Narc will indeed be difficult, but it can be done.
Where do you even begin, though? Where and how do we get our lives back after the N?
Finding the right therapist is essential in our healing journeys and essential to have a life after the Narcissists. Don’t just blindly pick one out of the “yellow pages” on the Internet. Make a list of several potential candidates, and interview them. Call them up, and ask them pertinent questions like if they have experience treating survivors of narcissistic and emotional abuse.
It took me several years to find a therapist who “got it.” She was located in a women’s shelter in the city that I currently live in. I was officially diagnosed with PTSD and she introduced me to EMDR therapy. (Read my blog posts PTSD As A Result Of Narcissistic Abuse and EMDR: How It Helped Me for more information.)
Creating healthy boundaries is an essential step to having a life after the Narcissists. These boundaries will center on what you will and will not accept in your healing journey. For example, if you have children with the Narcissist, one of your boundaries could be to not to have calls past a certain hour.
3. No Contact
Having a life after the Narcissist means having No Contact with them. No phone calls. No text messages. No emails. No Facebook messages. No nothing. (Read my blog Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do for more information.)
4. Try new things
Having a life after the N is vital to showing ourselves (and them) that they truly did not break us. Getting out there and trying new things will most certainly help us in reclaiming our power. Learn a new craft. Go hiking. Learn to cook a new dish.
Having a life after the N is possible, my friends. You will definitely have some bad days in your journey, but I promise you, you will also have some good days.
What has your life been like after the N? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.