A Narcissist’s smear campaign is an underhanded way to destroy a survivor’s credibility and reputation. The Narcissist will spread vicious lies and rumors, all the while playing the “woe is me” card and playing the victim. Naturally, all we want to do is verbalize our innocence and defend ourselves against this smear campaign. But doing so is a very bad idea.
Narcissists feel justified in running their smear campaign because we somehow failed to meet their unreasonably high expectations of us. By spreading gossip, they can play the innocent victim and make us look bad.
Why defending ourselves is a bad idea
In a normal situation where someone is talking bad about us, the first thing we want to do is rush to defend ourselves. It’s only natural to want to stick up for our good name. But there is nothing normal about Narcissists. There is nothing normal about a breakup with Narcissists. They run their smear campaign fast and hard. Sometimes, even before the relationship is over so they can get a jumpstart on ruining your reputation.
When we want to defend ourselves against the smear campaign, all it does it prove the Narcissist’s point:
The only way to defend
You might have heard this before. The only way to defend yourself against the Narcissist’s smear campaign is to not take part at all! Stay silent. You see, they expect a reaction from us. They want us to launch into a tirade.
By staying silent, we are ultimately creating a plausible deniability in the situation. We are denying the Narcissists their smear campaign. When we rise above their nasty and vicious lies, and go about living in a healthy manner, we are creating doubt in any outsider’s mind. We are not giving any truth to what the Narcissists are saying about us.
When we continue on with our lives, we are creating reasonable doubt. It is an indisputable way for outsiders to see that we are not what the Narcissists say we are. That there are discrepancies or holes in the Narcissists’ stories.
The reason behind the smear
Narcissists run their smear campaign because they cannot let the truth get out about what they really are. They want to scare us into silence so that we don’t speak freely about what we endured. So, in their minds, by destroying our reputations and credibility, they are essentially creating an atmosphere for themselves where they can keep getting away with their Narc tactics. I mean, why not? No one is there to stop them or create reasonable doubt. Right?
By not outwardly defending ourselves against the Narcissist’s smear campaign, we will end up letting them dig their own holes. All we have to do is stay silent and go about our lives. We move along in our healing path. We spend time with our family and friends, having fun and enjoying life. Eventually, the masks will fall and outsiders will begin to see the Narcissists for what they are. And when that happens, I can promise you, the vindication that we will internally feel will be sweet. I know that staying silent will be difficult.
But isn’t having a blog and Facebook page like mine doing the complete opposite of staying silent? Not really, no. I am not naming my NX by name, nor am I smearing his name. I am merely vocal about my experiences with him, coupled with what I’ve learned in my research (like tactics and healing methods). I found my voice and I’m using it to spread awareness about Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.
What are your thoughts? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
How I Lost My Identity
The Fake Apology
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.