Narcissists condition us to fear them. Fear of what they’ll say, what they’ll do. Fear of what might follow when they come home if we don’t obey their rules, their way of life. I lived this fear day in and day out. I lived in fear of how he’d react to something. Anything.
Normal healthy individuals view others (friends, partners, etc) as their allies. Narcissistic individuals, on the other hand, have a distorted perception of others. They feel that we are their enemies. They feel we are the evil ones.
Narcissists need for us to be a certain way in order to maintain their hold on us. In order to keep us from gaining insight, knowledge and freedom. They don’t want us to know the truth, so they need for us to be in a constant state of fear.
Narcissists thrive on drama and chaos. They feed off of the reactions of others during times of stress, difficulties and tribulations. It's no wonder then that they love to pick fights.
Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a platonic friendship, a parent, a coworker or any other Narcissist in your life, one thing is for certain. Narcissists will say anything to get you back into their lives after you go No Contact.
Lovebombing. A Narcissist's first weapon to reel us in. It is their first line of attack in waging war against us. This guest post explores what happens when Narcissists lovebomb us.
Narcissists are like poker players – they will not show their hand. In fact, Narcissists will play the cards very well in the beginning. They will bluff. They will act like they have the best hand in order to pull you into the game. The problem with this is that the Narcissists will eventually whip out their ace in the hole. Their winning hand. They use asymmetrical warfare in their efforts to destroy their opponents. Their targets.
The birth of the first web page in early 1991 has made it possible for people around the world to connect and discover new information. By that same token though, it has also made it possible for individuals to accomplish nefarious activities. Narcissistic individuals are among those who use the internet for activities such as cyberstalking.
Narcissists are known for being both covert (secretive) and overt (open). They have a myriad of tactics that they use to gain the upper hand and confuse their targets. One of those tactics is doublespeak.
Narcissists heavily rely on put downs and biting remarks to sting their targets. They know exactly what will drive us down further into the pits of despair so that they can maintain power over us. This type of humor is known as caustic humor.
What happens when you have both a Narcissistic Spouse AND a Narcissistic Mother in Law? It's a recipe for disaster, that's what. Today's guest blog post describes SPOT ON how I felt about having my NX as well as his mother against me. One of the first times I had experienced her Narcissistic behavior was when she came over to our house for a visit. She said to me, "Well, he's your problem now!"
To divert is to reroute or change direction of something. A traffic pattern is diverted due to construction or a car crash. Your attention can be diverted from your work due to an interruption, like a phone call. By the same token, Narcissists can divert attention off of themselves by using a number of tactics in their arsenal.
Narcissists can pick and choose what parts of their traits they display to the public, like charm and humor. To their targets, like us, they can carefully choose what parts to display. This includes their passive aggressive nature. At any given time, they can release those different aspects, thereby creating confusion in those they display the traits to.
Narcissists are known for never accepting responsibility in their lives. This includes pitching in with household duties. And as such, they will end up making you feel like a servant.
Whether you discarded the Narcissist or they discarded you, one thing stands clear. They will no longer have you in their lives to control, so they resort to the one thing that they can control. The children. The Narcissists do not care about anyone at all, least of all their children, so they use the children to punish you.
In my first blog on this subject, I discussed how Narcissists use their children as pawns in the Narcissist’s game of payback against the target. Narcissists hate us that much that they will do what it takes to turn the children against us.
You might not be aware that it is happening. But it is something that both you and the Narcissists use within the dynamic of the relationship. It is called reframing and it is something that you need to be more conscious of in your dealings with the Narcissists.
Narcissists don’t want us to heal. They don’t want us to move forward in life. They don’t want us to recover. This is precisely why they will come back around even after the discard. Don’t think that they are done with you when the discard occurs. Because they always come back around.
Social media has become a huge platform to share thoughts, ideas, funny things and the like. Unfortunately, not everyone uses social media to stay in touch with friends or relatives, or to share thoughts and ideas. Narcissists use social media in a more sinister way. They use social media to carefully construct posts to manipulate those on their friends list.
Whether the Narcissist discarded you, or you left the Narcissist, one thing stands clear. It should be over. Right? Not with the Narcissists. It's never over for them. In this guest blog, the hoovering method is discussed. Comment below the post to share your thoughts. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
Before my NX, I hadn’t even thought there was such a thing as financial abuse. But financial abuse is one of the very real results of being with a Narcissist and is more common than you think.
Disagreements and arguments with others is a part of life. But when those arguments are with Narcissists, it becomes a whole different ballgame. It’s a bad idea to argue with Narcissists.
In a nutshell, parental alienation is when the narcissistic parent does what it takes to keep the child or children away from the non-narcissistic parent. It really is an unfortunate thing to happen because one parent always ends up feeling shortchanged.
When we are in a Narcissistic relationship, we are not aware of the constant state of stress that our bodies are in. We also are not aware of what that constant state of stress does to our bodies. Narcissists will leave you feeling utterly exhausted.
Have the Narcissists ever told you that you are making something out to be bigger than it is? Have the Narcissists ever told you that you’re overreacting? What the Narcissists are doing is minimizing your experiences. They are saying that what you feel doesn’t matter. It’s not a big deal, they say. Minimizing is a big deal, actually, and it is a form of control.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.