The words domestic violence carry with them a strong connotation of hurt, betrayal and pain. In this pain, survivors of DV know that their lives will never be the same again.
In the instant you become free of your abusive situation, you will realize that your life is never going to be the same. Domestic violence will alter our lives to the point that we will look upon the world with different eyes.
And that’s the thing. We will never view anything the same way again. Not our school. Not our work. Not our friends. Not our family. Not in our hobbies. We will face every person and every situation with trepidation and a sense of distrust. We will walk gingerly through life afraid to make a mistake. We fear the reactions from others should we even make that mistake. We view others with a keen eye that what if they turn out to be like the Narcissist. A domestic violence situation will forever change how we live our lives. We will better guard our hearts. We will not be as trusting with information about our personal lives. We won’t wear our hearts on our sleeves. We won’t be as forthcoming in any future dealings. With anyone. Even afterwards, we can (and do) face severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms such as nightmares, reoccurring flashbacks, difficulties in accomplishing our daily tasks and so much more. We even avoid places and people that remind us of the Narcissist. We take a different route to work or school. (Read my blog PTSD As A Result Of Narcissistic Abuse for more information.) This fear is very real for survivors in that it can take control over us and cause us to change who we are. We become different people because of the abuse. We no longer are the carefree, fun, naïve people we once were. We lose ourselves and that child-like innocence. Bottom line Domestic violence may alter our lives, but we don’t have to let it ruin our lives. We can turn it around and make it work for our benefit. We can educate others. We can speak out against it. We can become an advocate. How has DV altered your life? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
2 Comments
Daisy Faye
7/30/2018 12:48:04 am
Right now, it feels as though domestic violence essentially robbed me and left me with nothing. I put up with it and covered for him for over 20 years thinking one day he’d be appreciative and my commitment to our marriage would pay off. Instead, it has completely altered my entire personality, I appear to be the failure to everyone else, when I’ve tried to speak up about things that happened, I am met with disbelief (unless it’s my therapist or other DV professional), I’m treated as though I’ve done all this to myself, was robbed of so much time with my children, lived in constant fear, lost my career (for which I worked so hard to achieve three degrees), struggle with substance abuse, depression, PTSD, just lost my third home because of him (we’ve been divorced for six years and he still stalked and meddled in my life until I lost my job, home, everything), lost a wonderful relationship with another man due to his attack, the respect of my family and children (they blame me), as well as, the respect of people in our town, I have lost all hope and the will to even continue living, DV took a once happy, energetic, outgoing, optimistic, goal-driven, popular, confident girl and turned me into a reclusive, angry, frustrated, depressed, lethargic, pessimistic, hopeless, isolated, unliked, nervous, worrisome, suspicious, untrusting person who has given up on life and no longer has the will to live. That’s what DV did to me.
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Willow
10/2/2018 02:54:24 am
Hi Daisy Fay
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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