Read the title of this article again. Let that sink in for just a moment.
Did you read it? Did you ask yourself why they wouldn't be nice? They certainly seem like they are. Did they change? Are they really acting sweet and nice?
Narcissists are typically characterized by having a grandiose sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and several other traits. Many times, though, Narcissists are not outwardly exhibiting these traits to the point of obviousness. Many Narcissists are covert in nature.
Narcissists don’t just have a one-size fits all strategy for grooming their targets. As a matter of fact, their approach is much more tailored to each different target they have. It’s much more personalized.
Have you ever wondered why you always feel so drained and weary when you are around the Narcissists? Have you wondered why you felt worn down to your very core? You can be sure that the Narcissists are at work.
If you’ve had a run-in with a Narcissist or two, chances are you’ve been witness to their know-it-all attitude. Why is it that they take on such a superior stance? Why do they consider themselves the authority on every subject?
Narcissists condition us to fear them. Fear of what they’ll say, what they’ll do. Fear of what might follow when they come home if we don’t obey their rules, their way of life. I lived this fear day in and day out. I lived in fear of how he’d react to something. Anything.
Normal healthy individuals view others (friends, partners, etc) as their allies. Narcissistic individuals, on the other hand, have a distorted perception of others. They feel that we are their enemies. They feel we are the evil ones.
Narcissists excel in mirroring others – how they act, how they speak, and even the words they use. It’s no wonder then that Narcissists can blend in so well. Narcissists are the epitome of charm, wit and popularity. So it stands to reason that so many are fooled by them.
When Narcissists enter into any kind of relationship (plutonic, romantic, etc), they are under the assumption that they own the other person. That they can do what they want to that person and not be held accountable. Narcissists are possessive and they don’t care for anyone who tries to break free from the possession.
In healthy human behavior, we account for our actions by accepting responsibility for them. We take ownership of our words and actions and make amends where we need to. However, with Narcissists, that is not the case. They will justify their behavior.
In normal healthy relationships, there is an equal give and take. An equal ebb and flow. But with Narcissists, nothing is normal. There is no give and take. There is no ebb and flow. In fact, Narcissists live by their own set of rules, while demanding another set of rules for their targets. This is the Narcissist’s double standard.
We will face several challenges as survivors of Narcissistic Abuse. One of those challenges is understanding the effects that our experience will have on other relationships in our lives. We will likely not have the same outlook towards those in our lives.
Part of the game that Narcissists play is to condition us to believe that we are at fault for all that goes wrong in the relationship. Whatever your relationship with the Narcissist is (parent, sibling, significant other), they will cause us to blame ourselves for their actions, our reactions and the downfall of the relationship. So how do we escape that self blame?
The words domestic violence carry with them a strong connotation of hurt, betrayal and pain. In this pain, survivors of DV know that their lives will never be the same again.
Rediscovering ourselves in our healing journeys plays a pivotal role in how we regain our strength and freedom. Oftentimes, we withdraw from things we love to do or that make us happy. Finding those activities again is an important step in our healing journeys.
The truth, for many, is an intimidating concept. It’s why many of us seem to bend the truth from time to time in our daily lives. But the importance of truth plays a pivotal role in our recovery from Narcissistic Abuse. Our truth becomes our lifeline.
After Narcissistic Abuse, many survivors find it near impossible to trust anyone again. No matter who crosses paths with us, we begin to question everyone’s motives. Why do they want to help us? Why do they want to be friends with us? Why do they want to love us? But there will come a day when we will love and trust again.
This guest post explores the differences between having narcissistic tendencies from time to time versus being a true Narcissist. What are your thoughts regarding this topic? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
Communicating with Narcissists is not an easy task. We must be prepared for the onslaught of circular conversations, underhanded putdowns, verbal jabs and more. If we can avoid contact and conversations with the Narcissists, then we must do so. However, it is when we must communicate with them that we must be on guard.
All survivors want in the aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse is to thrive, and not merely survive. It IS possible to thrive after Narcissistic Abuse, my friends. It just takes time and patience.
Narcissists need for us to be a certain way in order to maintain their hold on us. In order to keep us from gaining insight, knowledge and freedom. They don’t want us to know the truth, so they need for us to be in a constant state of fear.
Whether we are just beginning our healing journeys or we are well into them, one thing can stand clear for many survivors – that we can feel clear resentment after the abuse. But how do you let go of that resentment and not let it consume you?
I cannot believe that today marks two years that I pressed “publish” on this website. It has been an incredible journey. A journey filled with insight and knowledge. I have learned so much over the last two years, and I have you to thank, my readers.
Outsiders think they know a Narcissist when they are one. Someone who is so outwardly into themselves. Someone who boasts often. But, there are signs of Narcissism that are easily missed when one doesn't understand the depths Narcissists go to in order to obtain supply.
It is not only possible, but achievable to have a life after the Narcissists. But how? How can we have a life after the Narcissists, especially when they seemingly have broken us down, torn our emotions to shreds, and destroyed our self-worth and our confidence?
Like the FFNAEA Facebook page by clicking the icon below!
Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
How I Lost My Identity
The Fake Apology
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
©2016-2018. Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (in full or in part) without the express written consent of this blog's author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse with a link back to the original content.
The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.