I have always believed that children are astute observers. They take in much more than we adults give them credit for. And from all their observations, they are more susceptible to feeling the effects of emotional abuse.
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Whether you discarded the Narcissist or they discarded you, one thing stands clear. They will no longer have you in their lives to control, so they resort to the one thing that they can control. The children. The Narcissists do not care about anyone at all, least of all their children, so they use the children to punish you.
When there is great loss in our lives, it can be so difficult to process. And that’s when it’s a normal every day loss. What about when the loss is due to a toxic relationship that came to a sudden end? We still need to process the grief we feel. Processing grief properly is so vital to our healing journey.
In the Narcissistic relationship dynamic, you might often hear the words codependent or codependency. These words are used far too often when referring to abusive situations. But are victims and survivors of Narcissistic Abuse codependent or is it something else?
Not long ago, a reader asked this question. I even had a bad day to the point where I began asking the question too. Why do Narcissists always seem to be winning and on the top? Why do they seem to catch all the breaks?
In my first blog on this subject, I discussed how Narcissists use their children as pawns in the Narcissist’s game of payback against the target. Narcissists hate us that much that they will do what it takes to turn the children against us.
This is a special blog post today, my warrior survivor friends. I don’t normally publish twice on Wednesdays, but this situation needs to be addressed. Again. This isn’t so much as a “turning on each other” post as it is dealing with a page that has turned on mine.
Narcissists view themselves as superior and all-knowing. It only stands to reason then that there are certain things that they just won’t do.
Trust is essential to the success of any kind of relationship – between significant others, between parent and child, between friends. No matter the type of relationship, one thing stands clear. Trust is earned, not given.
You might not be aware that it is happening. But it is something that both you and the Narcissists use within the dynamic of the relationship. It is called reframing and it is something that you need to be more conscious of in your dealings with the Narcissists.
Knowing what I know about Narcissists, and knowing what I know about my NX, I have been wondering if either of my children will become a Narcissist. It’s a valid concern for survivors who have children with the Narcissist.
Narcissists don’t want us to heal. They don’t want us to move forward in life. They don’t want us to recover. This is precisely why they will come back around even after the discard. Don’t think that they are done with you when the discard occurs. Because they always come back around.
Healing from Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse is difficult at best. Why? It isn’t fair that we are the ones who have to do all the work. Much of that work comes in the form of finding the right therapist to conduct one on one counseling with us.
Some experts say Narcissists can change. I’m not so sure about that. I mean, just because I haven’t seen it happen, doesn’t mean it can’t. However, more often than not, Narcissists cannot be fixed.
One of the hallmark traits of Narcissists is their grandiose thinking. This line of thinking saturates every pore of the Narcissist’s personality and is the basis for which they operate.
The Jekyll and Hyde Narcissist. You never know what you're going to get. So you walk on eggshells. You are careful what you say and do. They are mean. They are nice. The back and forth makes you dizzy and unsure of what's real. This guest post discusses the long term effects that this type of person can have on you.
You found the love of your life. Things seem great…for a while. Then things began to get edgy. Your love began to devalue you. You aren’t thought of in the same way as when the relationship first began. You begin to feel that how the person is treating you isn’t quite right. You can’t put your finger on it. Then, from what seems like out of nowhere, you are dumped. Discarded like yesterday’s trash. Yet, even after the supposed end of the relationship, the abuse is continuing. So if the relationship is over, why does the abuse still happen? Why does the abuse continue even after the discard?
When a person enters into a 12 Step program, one of the first things he or she learns is that admitting to the issue propels him or her into recovery. It’s the first step. Admitting what’s wrong. When we admit to our hurt, we essentially set the wheels in motion to begin our recovery.
Out of all the questions that ran through my mind in my healing journey, the one that kept coming up is “Why did he choose me?” Knowing why the Narcissists choose us is essential to our healing and recovery.
It’s so hard to believe that I began this blog one year ago today. With great trepidation, I pressed the publish button on the page. I couldn’t believe it. I was a blogger! In the past year, I have published 125 blogs (including this one) on Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse. I have discussed characteristics, tactics and healing methods. I have learned so much in the past year!
When I began my healing journey, I came across the term Narc-Dipping. I had never heard that term before. The more I read, the more I began to understand that Narc-Dipping is an unhealthy thing for survivors to take part in.
Perhaps you have just gotten out of a relationship with a Narcissist. Perhaps you’ve been away for a while. Perhaps the Narcissist is a parent. In any research you may have done, you might have come across the term Covert Narcissistic Abuse. What is it? Why is it so insidious?
In my youth, I envisioned a life with a partner who was loving and attentive. We’d have children, live in a beautiful home. The perfect happy life you dream about as a child. But that was not to be. My marriage was one that was riddled with narcissistic and emotional abuse, financial abuse, and even some physical abuse. I did not have the perfect life that I had dreamed about as a child. What I endured was nothing short of a nightmare. I still can’t believe this happened to me.
Social media has become a huge platform to share thoughts, ideas, funny things and the like. Unfortunately, not everyone uses social media to stay in touch with friends or relatives, or to share thoughts and ideas. Narcissists use social media in a more sinister way. They use social media to carefully construct posts to manipulate those on their friends list.
Whether the Narcissist discarded you, or you left the Narcissist, one thing stands clear. It should be over. Right? Not with the Narcissists. It's never over for them. In this guest blog, the hoovering method is discussed. Comment below the post to share your thoughts. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship How I Lost My Identity The Fake Apology Effects of Emotional Abuse Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign Emotionally Abusive Behaviors Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation Emotional Rape Categories
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.
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