In my youth, I envisioned a life with a partner who was loving and attentive. We’d have children, live in a beautiful home. The perfect happy life you dream about as a child. But that was not to be. My marriage was one that was riddled with narcissistic and emotional abuse, financial abuse, and even some physical abuse. I did not have the perfect life that I had dreamed about as a child. What I endured was nothing short of a nightmare. I still can’t believe this happened to me.
Even nearly 7 years out, I am still baffled by how something like this could happen.
I knew evil existed in this world. I mean, there are wars, people killing other people, riots, etc. But this. This to me, took the cake. How on earth could something like this happen? Why was I chosen? Why did he pick me? Why did he have to reduce me to an empty, fearful, shell of the girl I used to be?
And for what? Just so he could feel powerful and superior?
How Narcissists get away with it
I thought myself to be an intelligent individual. One who could easily read other people’s intentions. One who could see their character. But with evil individuals like Narcissists, you don’t see what they really are. This is because they don a mask. A mask that hides what they really are. A mask that allows the Narcissists to pretend to be anyone they want to be. This is why so many are fooled into believing they have found Mr. or Mrs. Right.
I still chide myself for falling for it. It makes me feel so stupid. So foolish. So obtuse.
How? How the heck did I fall for it? There are some days where all these thoughts run through my mind. How did I not see the signs? And if I did see that something was “off”.....how did I not put a stop to things? Why did I let him get away with it all?
It’s like the old adage goes, if I only knew then what I know now. Well, if I did know then what I know now, would I have done anything differently? Would I have put a stop to it sooner? Would I have gone back in January 2008? Obviously, I’ll never know the answers really to any of those questions. And it’s not healthy for me to really dwell on those questions, either.
I wish I could give a simple explanation as to why this happened to me. Because I still can’t believe it happened.
Do any of you readers ever think this way? What has helped you get over the hurdle of this line of thinking? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.