Not long ago, a reader asked this question. I even had a bad day to the point where I began asking the question too. Why do Narcissists always seem to be winning and on the top? Why do they seem to catch all the breaks?
To answer that question, we need to remember what Narcissists are.
Narcissists:
Narcissists use those characteristics to their advantage. They schmooze with the higher-ups in companies to get the promotion. They “make friends” with all the right people so that they can claim they are oh so important. They lie about their accomplishments to seem more important than they really are. They don’t care who you are, they will step over you to get what they want. They don’t care who they hurt. Out of all the things I’ve learned over the course of the last several years regarding Narcissists and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), I realized one important thing. They will remain “on top” until they are found out. Until their mask starts to slip. But how do they ever GET there? How do they get to the top and catch all the breaks? This question has haunted me for the last several months. My NX seems to “have it all” now – a purchased home, my children, and now a new bride. (Though I do feel like he used people to even buy the home in the first place.) Anyway, it’s because of the above characteristics and tactics that makes it seem like the Narcissists are always winning. They play the victim and outsiders believe them. They are just that convincing. They are master manipulators. They know just how to use people to get what they want. Which is likely why they seem like they are always catching the breaks! Do I wish I could own a home again? You bet! But I can never have that because the NX ruined my credit. I am doing all I can to correct that now though. Do I wish I could even adopt a child with my now husband? Oh absolutely! But because of my criminal record, there is no way we’d ever get approved. My NX has custody of my children, and I can’t even adopt a child. So yeah, it seems like my NX is winning and always on top. Is there anything we can do about it? Not really, no. If we try to warn others of the Narcissists or spend our days trying to expose the Narcissists for what they are, it’s likely to backfire on us. It will just give them the fuel they need to point at us and say, “You see? She is crazy and unstable.” Bottom line The only thing I think we CAN do is continue to speak our truth. Not necessarily name the Narcissist by name. But speak about our experiences. Speak out about your feelings, your emotions. Speak out about the tactics used. Continue to educate yourself, too. Keep reading up about Narcissists, Narcissism, and NPD. Knowledge is power, my warrior survivor friends. The more you know, the less the Narcissists can do to us. What are your thoughts on how Narcissists seem to always be winning? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
8 Comments
6/22/2017 09:57:24 am
Do you think that they would ever be exposed for such evilness? My 11 yr old daughter was stolen by him and his zombie enablers, at the age of 3. It's in the last few months she is beginning to change and is probably almost fully brainwashed now.
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MARY
6/23/2017 06:53:18 am
My narc never fought much. He would work out ways to :"punish"., me when I didn't even know he had a problem.Everything he did was covered and quiet in public. If we had an anrgument about his drinking, he just never answered and went out. aaaaai felt like a chair in the house,not even a pet. It took 30 years before he got sick of me and scared me out of the house, while telling me things were fine.
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Julianna
7/1/2017 08:55:51 am
Mary.......I am sorry that you endured that. Toxic individuals like Narcissists will find way to punish us like that. The NX did that to me too. In public he was all sweet and charming and would act innocent if I ever brought it up in public. Then when we got home, he'd unleash his wrath on me for embarrassing him in public like that for bringing stuff up. It's a lose-lose with Narcs.
Julianna
7/1/2017 08:53:43 am
Sally.........Sometimes we need to do what is best for us and our healing journey. My heart hurts for you that your daughter has been programmed like that. She is being taught to use you the way the Narc has used you. I do hope that in time, she will see the truth. Now I can't tell you what to do, so I will say this: Do in your heart what you feel you must in order to continue along your healing journey.
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Felicia
8/28/2017 10:10:06 am
I am going through a similar situation. Why are these people rewarded and the people who try so hard to do the right things are struggling and trying to deal with the crazy drama we are subjected to.
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Kiki
7/26/2017 01:10:41 am
My ex narc is a major manipulator. Was in a relationship with him for 9 years. Fell in love with him but was very emotionally abusive. When he was done with me he threw me out the house one day because he found new love. He literally ruin me. He acted as though I meant nothing to him . He calls ever so often to curse me out and to tell me how much better of a woman his new girlfriend is. After a year I still feel the pain so much that I have to relocate to a different state across country to rid myself of he emotional abuse that he still had over me. He takes her
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Just Me
8/19/2018 06:22:44 pm
Sorry to read all the comments.
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Elizabeth Stevens
3/26/2019 12:36:26 pm
My ex daughter in law is a narcissist, and is still blaming me for everything that happens. I lived in on state and my son and her and children in another. The judge believed everything she said. Will it ever end after 3 husband's, her uncle and numerous married men.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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