You might not be aware that it is happening. But it is something that both you and the Narcissists use within the dynamic of the relationship. It is called reframing and it is something that you need to be more conscious of in your dealings with the Narcissists.
According to Collins English Dictionary, to reframe is to “change the focus or perspective of a view through a lens” or “to say something in a different way.”
So by that definition then, reframing within a Narcissistic relationship occurs when the Narcissist causes us to shift our focus in regards to how we view an event. This is to blur any clarity we may be getting that allows us to see the Narcissists for what they truly are.
How it works
Think of any event. Any day to day occurance in the home. How did you react? How did the Narcissist react?
Some examples of reframing that occurred often with my NX:
What reframing does
Habitual reframing is consistent with brainwashing because as the Narcissists reframe again and again, you get programmed to get used to it. This technique is meant to wear us down. To demean and belittle us a little bit at a time. To condition us to allow them to keep getting away with abusing us.
Until I began my healing journey, I had no idea what reframing even was. I didn’t even know I was actually doing it! I was making allowances for his abusive behavior. I was explaining it away. I was making excuses to myself, and to my children. But now that I know what it is, I haven’t fallen into the trap of doing it anymore.
Have you experienced reframing with the Narcissists? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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