Some experts say Narcissists can change. I’m not so sure about that. I mean, just because I haven’t seen it happen, doesn’t mean it can’t. However, more often than not, Narcissists cannot be fixed.
In my blog post Can A Narcissist Change, I discussed at length how it is ingrained in a Narcissist’s personality to be the way they are. Because they feel they are so superior to others, they never admit to any mistakes or any wrongdoing.
It is for this reason that I feel like Narcissists cannot change or be fixed. My NX has shown me time and time again that he will remain the same evil person underneath. Despite his numerous claims that he is a “changed man” because of his NS, he has continued to make snide comments, spew hateful words and use a threatening tone when communicating with me via email.
Narcissists cannot and will not take any responsibility for their actions. To do so, would admit that they have faults. This is something that the Narcissists cannot admit to. The mask they don for the world to see is one of perfection. And because they feel they do no wrong, they are then justified in everything they do.
Furthermore, in order to even change at all, the Narcissists would have to admit that they need help. This is something that they will never admit to because they feel that they don’t need the help. But supposing that they did attend therapy with you under the pretense that they want to better the marriage and “save” the marriage. Please understand that this is a ploy to manipulate the therapist into siding with them. (Read my blog post Narcissists And Counseling: Why It’s A Bad Idea To Attend Therapy With Them for more information.)
If they showed any “change” at all, it’s only for a short period of time. This is to give the appearance that they have indeed changed for the better. But like my NX, they will inevitably show their true nature. It doesn’t matter what you do or say, you will enrage the Narcissist. It’s nothing that you said or did, don’t worry. It’s just that the Narcissists will think that you did something and so in their minds, their actions are justified.
Out of all the information I’ve ever read on the subject combined with my own experience on the issue, I firmly believe that Narcissists cannot be fixed. To even try to change them or convince them to get help is futile. It is wasted energy. I know we want the most wonderful relationship in the world and to live happily ever after. But you will not find that with the Narcissists. Don’t undertake the task of trying to change the Narcissists yourselves. It won’t end well.
How did you realize the Narcissist can’t be fixed? What led you to that conclusion? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
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How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.