Normal healthy individuals view others (friends, partners, etc) as their allies. Narcissistic individuals, on the other hand, have a distorted perception of others. They feel that we are their enemies. They feel we are the evil ones.
How many times has the Narcissist in your life told you that you were crazy and unstable? The NX told me so many times that I lost count!
Perception of evil
Narcissists perceive us to be evil because they want the outside world to view us as the Narcissists view us. They want “everyone” to be against us. They want us to be isolated and not to have any form of support.
The NX truly believed me to be so evil, so cruel that he had to portray me as a bad parent. How’d he do that? By proving “reactive abuse” – or, using my reactions of his abuse against me. As a result, I developed actual symptoms – depression, anxiety, emotional instability. Because of this, he felt it was within his right to “protect” the children from me.
It is such a distorted way to think. He truly believes that he was (and still is) doing what is best for the children by taking them away from me! He had everyone convinced that I was the abusive one because of all my reactions. That I was the threat!
That’s what Narcissists do – they get others to think you are the dangerous one. The evil one. I remember one time when the N had ranted on his Facebook page about not letting the children talk to him when they were with me during my visitation with them. What he conveniently left out, though, was how often he doesn’t “allow” the children to contact me. By leaving that info out, his legions of “friends” all thought I was the evil one for not allowing contact during my visit with the children. (Actually, the children did talk to him the first night they were with me. We were busy the rest of the week and they never asked to call him.)
Why would Narcissists do such a thing?
Well, for one, they don’t want the outside world to know what they truly are. So they have to make others look crazy and evil.
Perception of crazy
Furthermore, Narcissists aim to make their targets appear crazy and unstable so that they are the ones who appear like the victim. It’s a deflection tactic. They need to deflect the attention off of them and onto us so that they are perceived by others as appearing normal, healthy and a saint for “putting up” with us.
I remember one time that the N tried to tell me something about an experience of mine. He was like, “That never happened. I don’t remember that.” Well, of course he doesn’t! He wasn’t there when it happened! He was away on training for the military when that experience of mine happened.
That’s exactly what Narcissists try to do – they attempt to change our history into their version of the truth. It’s what they do in front of others to ensure that their perceptions are the only perceptions that are believed. You begin to feel confused. Maybe it didn’t happen the way you thought it did. Then, the more confused you feel, the more the N is believed.
Narcissists truly believe that we are the evil ones. They convince themselves that we are the enemy and set out to prove that through their myriad of tactics. The only way to dodge their line of fire is to recognize them for what they are and not to play their game.
What has been your experience with the N and their perceptions of us being evil? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.