Normal healthy individuals view others (friends, partners, etc) as their allies. Narcissistic individuals, on the other hand, have a distorted perception of others. They feel that we are their enemies. They feel we are the evil ones.
How many times has the Narcissist in your life told you that you were crazy and unstable? The NX told me so many times that I lost count!
Perception of evil Narcissists perceive us to be evil because they want the outside world to view us as the Narcissists view us. They want “everyone” to be against us. They want us to be isolated and not to have any form of support. The NX truly believed me to be so evil, so cruel that he had to portray me as a bad parent. How’d he do that? By proving “reactive abuse” – or, using my reactions of his abuse against me. As a result, I developed actual symptoms – depression, anxiety, emotional instability. Because of this, he felt it was within his right to “protect” the children from me. It is such a distorted way to think. He truly believes that he was (and still is) doing what is best for the children by taking them away from me! He had everyone convinced that I was the abusive one because of all my reactions. That I was the threat! That’s what Narcissists do – they get others to think you are the dangerous one. The evil one. I remember one time when the N had ranted on his Facebook page about not letting the children talk to him when they were with me during my visitation with them. What he conveniently left out, though, was how often he doesn’t “allow” the children to contact me. By leaving that info out, his legions of “friends” all thought I was the evil one for not allowing contact during my visit with the children. (Actually, the children did talk to him the first night they were with me. We were busy the rest of the week and they never asked to call him.)
Why would Narcissists do such a thing?
Well, for one, they don’t want the outside world to know what they truly are. So they have to make others look crazy and evil. Perception of crazy Furthermore, Narcissists aim to make their targets appear crazy and unstable so that they are the ones who appear like the victim. It’s a deflection tactic. They need to deflect the attention off of them and onto us so that they are perceived by others as appearing normal, healthy and a saint for “putting up” with us. I remember one time that the N tried to tell me something about an experience of mine. He was like, “That never happened. I don’t remember that.” Well, of course he doesn’t! He wasn’t there when it happened! He was away on training for the military when that experience of mine happened. That’s exactly what Narcissists try to do – they attempt to change our history into their version of the truth. It’s what they do in front of others to ensure that their perceptions are the only perceptions that are believed. You begin to feel confused. Maybe it didn’t happen the way you thought it did. Then, the more confused you feel, the more the N is believed. Bottom line Narcissists truly believe that we are the evil ones. They convince themselves that we are the enemy and set out to prove that through their myriad of tactics. The only way to dodge their line of fire is to recognize them for what they are and not to play their game. What has been your experience with the N and their perceptions of us being evil? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
5 Comments
This is just my opinion here, but narcs usually know that what they are saying is crazy and they just don't care. They only try to shift the blame onto others because they cannot stand criticism. They don't actually believe half of the things that they say and don't particularly care about their beliefs. They know it's BS because they made it up.
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It took me 3 yrs after my divorce to feel like I could function, I never realized what my issues where until a friend of my ex’s said she could see how affected I would become, anxiety,sadness,then anger because I kept allowing myself to be manipulated. Well I’m here to say that I never realized how dependent I became to that madness. So much so that I Willingly jumped right back in and WOW, I swear with in a few weeks I served my purpose and was quickly brushed aside and replaced, my ex not having lost any sleep, but myself I let everything go to focus on their home issues it didn’t take but few weeks of the “it’s all about me, only me and my issues” attitude to fall back into the I’m no good it’s my fault cause I didn’t try hard enough or I voiced my opinion, exspressed my feelings or concerns. I am just hoping that I can stand strong next time I get the why are people doing this to me or why is this happening to me with the tears and all. I have kids with this person and I have had to miss out on a lot because Of this. Narcissistic people will do whatever they need to to be able to do what they feel they need. And nobody or nothing will stop them they will use you and make you feel like it’s your fault that they used you!!! Insane that’s the end of my rant... I feel lil better not much but atleast I was able to express myself. Comments,advice please n thanks
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Mary
1/6/2022 11:41:53 pm
Everything I have read is so true. If you have experienced any of this, you feel as if there is no way out. Well there is. Learn to keep your mouth shut and don’t argue back. Learn to quit proving yourself. Find out how to love yourself again and quit needing validation from the N. Live your life and quit depending on the N for everything and especially quit needing them for emotional support. If you can leave, then leave.. if you can’t, then figure out how to stay in your own head and love yourself only. Stop their control of you and your mind. Play your own game, not theirs. Forgive yourself for believing them and learn how to live without needing their approval. I just wonder…..what makes someone become narcissistic? They all have the same characteristics………it’s so evil.
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Michael
4/29/2022 03:32:28 pm
I was abused by a high functioning covert narc for 43 years. I always new something wasn’t right and there were really weird boundaries set for me to isolate me from my friends, but in her own favourite word. WOW! Covert Narcs are also known as injured narcs. Mine has a grandiose narc mother with whom she has serious issues with from childhood. Her whole world is a projection of the person that she wishes to b, but it’s 98.9%fantasy. The most seemingly upstanding people that you probably admire are very likely to be wolves in sheeps clothing, projecting the person that they wish they were. These pieces of sh12 need constant admiration and to achieve that end they don’t care who or how many sources they infect with their parasitic feeding frenzy. It is not unreasonable to call them for what they are, emotional vampires with no moral compass. All that matters is that the real “them” remains concealed and the projection of who they would like to be more like is lit loud for all to admire. These high functioning psychopathic narcs are extremely dangerous and will plan and execute smear campaigns and destabilising techniques to destroy the credibility of their source, once they feel that they have lost control over them or no longer need that person. A replacement or replacement sources will have been groomed and activated before the “used” source victim is discarded. That discard process went on for years with me. Every discard was at some point followed up with a hoovering back into the narcs world. Each discard was crueller than the previous
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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