Narcissists are known for being both covert (secretive) and overt (open). They have a myriad of tactics that they use to gain the upper hand and confuse their targets. One of those tactics is doublespeak.
By definition
Doublespeak, as defined by Dictionary.com, “evasive, ambiguous language that is intended to deceive or confuse.” By that definition then, we can conclude that Narcissists use doublespeak to gaslight, confuse and bait (purposely taunt or tease) their targets. They say one thing and mean another. Know-it-alls They launch into some topic of “discussion” acting as if they are the expert on the subject matter. Even if you truly do know more about something than they do, they still act like they know it all. They use the confusing language, big words (that sometimes they don’t know the meaning of), and avoid answering questions directly. As far as the using big word thing goes, my NX was notorious for sounding like he thought he was smart. He’d mispronounce words so often, it made me cringe. Even his own father noticed one time when he mispronounced the word “oscillating.” My NX said it as “os-kill-ating.” Oh my. And one time when there was talk in the news of a government shutdown, the words sequestered and sequestration were used. My NX pronounced it as “sequestrian.” Uh ok. I think I may have bit my tongue so hard that I drew blood because I didn’t want to laugh while on the phone with him! Why they use doublespeak Narcissists aim to drive us crazy. They want to make us think that we are losing our grip on reality. So they employ the use of doublespeak to provoke us. They will bait us into engaging in conversation then add in a dash of gaslighting and projection for flavoring. They use doublespeak so that they can avoid having to take responsibility for anything that they say or do. They mislead us into thinking one thing when they really meant another thing. “But most of all, doublespeak is a covert speaking tactic used by competitive speakers to control, deceive, and mislead other people into making hasty generalizations (when used as a weapon employed as a conversation tactic). It is a stonewalling tweak that mixes crazy talk on the part of a speaker with an attempt of the listener to functionally clarify things — to the point the listener loses his or her cool and ends up feeling, looking, or acting incredibly frustrated.”
Narcissists are experts at twisting words around to make their targets doubt themselves. They use doublespeak (amongst other tactics) to accomplish this goal.
Sometimes, because they tell several different versions of things, even the Narcissists themselves won’t remember each different detail. They will end up confusion themselves! They’ll cover these tracks by claiming that they really meant the second (or third) thing they said. “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant this instead” kind of thing. Bottom line Manipulators like Narcissists will take the doublespeak tactic and use it to their advantage. What they say won’t add up to a lick of sense. They fluff up their diatribes with words that don’t make sense. It’s all to make themselves sound intelligent when they really aren’t. What has been your experience with doublespeak? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
1 Comment
Renee
11/14/2017 05:13:12 pm
Hello there, just stumbled upon your site thru your facebook page. My mother is narcissistic and my father, brother and extended family don't see it at all. Or at least, they don't talk about it. I grew up emotionally neglected, emotionally abused, spiritually manipulated, and falsely accused on many levels. My husband and I are realizing that we don't need to put up with this anymore, but it is difficult to break off relationship when my mother herself has done this with her in laws. I feel like i am walking in her shoes, just breaking off relationships. This narcissism is so new to me, but so spot on. I am in full recovery mode and am grateful i found your site. Any helpful suggestions for dealing with my narcissistic mother and her puppet, my dad, would be greatly appreciated.
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