Narcissists do not come right out and admit any wrongdoing, nor do they outright confess their sins. When dealing with Narcissists, it’s always best to listen closely. Listen closely, readers, for Narcissists will let you in on a little secret – they confess their sins through the art of projection.
A reader recently brought up a very good point. She said, "How do you defend yourself against a smear campaign when you don't even know what's being said?"
This led me to want to break the smear campaign down a bit.
One of the most detrimental trademarks of Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse is psychological and emotional invalidation. Narcissists pull this tactic out of their arsenal to ultimately destroy their victims’ self-worth and self-esteem.
It's no secret that Narcissists must have power and control over their victims. Intimidation is a favorite control tactic that Narcissists frequently use.
There is no changing a Narcissist. You cannot love better, deeper or stronger. You cannot show any kind of compassion to a Narcissist. Why? Because they will use your compassion against you.
Narcissists love to employ the use of the bait and switch. It's one of their favorite tactics, actually, because this is the easiest way they can play the victim.
Withholding is a powerful tool in the Narcissist’s game. They play keep away with what they know you want or need. You express an interest in something? They purposely hold back on giving it to you.
What is triangulation? How do Narcissists use it to their advantage? What are its effects on you, the target? Triangulation is one of the many tactics that the Narcissist uses. Have you wondered why other people seem to always be involved or hang around?
The Narcissist will do whatever it takes to keep control over you. One of the many ways this is done is by employing verbal attacks. Words as weapons can cut the victim deep and right down to the core.
Narcissists are known to have many sources of supply. But did you know that Narcs can and do organize gatherings of all their supply? I mean, we're talking in the same place. Under the same roof.
Has the Narcissist in your life ever told you that if you don't give him what he wants, then there will be consequences? Were you given promises then have them taken away? Did the Narc use your vulnerabilities to his advantage? Does the Narc always want more no matter how much you give? Have you been made to feel guilty if you don't give in?
Narcissists will always keep a tally of what they did for you and the wrongs committed against them. This is called scorekeeping. And my NX excelled at it.
If you've ever seen the popular movie The Wizard of Oz, you'll be familiar with the winged monkeys that the Wicked Witch had helping her. She would send out the monkeys whenever she needed her evil plans to be carried out.
Narcissists are very much like the Wicked Witch.
I consider myself an intelligent individual. So it begs the question of how I could be so gullible to fall for love-bombing. Not once. But twice. (At least twice that I'm aware of.)
In the beginning of a relationship, everything is brand new and wonderful. Or so it seems. Your new guy dotes on you, makes you your favorite dessert, spews out compliments left and right. And you just think, "Wow he must really care about me!" (These are ALL calculated efforts, by the way. Everything he does is with purpose.)
A Narcissist has an insatiable need to always be right. He will argue with you until he's blue in the face. Well, if he's arguing, his face will be bright red from all the screaming he's doing.
I love having guest bloggers write for my site. It brings new insight to the topic of Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse. This blog post below is one of those amazing posts that just have incredible insight. I experienced each one of these 9 instances with my NX. Do you notice any similarities with the NX in your life? Share your stories below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
Many times, children are the unfortunate victims in divorce proceedings with a narcissist. They are used pawns in the Narc's game of payback against the victim.
To discard is to get rid of or abandon. You can discard an old pair of shoes, you can discard unwanted cards in your hand during a game of poker, and you can also discard old clothing that doesn't fit anymore.
Manipulation in all forms is used in every day life. From lawyers persuading a jury to see their point of view, to kids on a debate team trying to manipulate the audience into siding with them.
We've all experienced shame in our lives. But toxic shame is overwhelmingly detrimental to our psyches and well-being. In general, shame triggers internal responses within each of us depending on our own experiences. Shame becomes toxic when it's internalized due to our past traumas and distorts our self-image.
The Smear Campaign. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds. It is one of the nastiest tactics that a Narcissist uses.
Scenario: A Narc, his wife and children get in their vehicle to go somewhere. Not long after they are on the road, the Narc begins his argument.
From time to time, I will have guest bloggers post topics on Narcissistic or Emotional Abuse. Below is one such guest blog post. Have you experienced word salad with a Narc? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
If you've ever been on the receiving end of a Narc's tirades, you know how deep it can hurt you. Accusations, blame, rage - they are all just on the surface. It's really not you. If you listen closely, you will hear confessions!
Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of emotional abuse there is. Why? Because it is the Narcissist abuser's desire to drive you crazy. But why is it so dangerous? The term "gaslight" came from the 1944 movie starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman, which was based on the 1938 stage play of the same name. Boyer's character would purposely dim the gas lights in the home and then pretend not to know about it when Bergman's character asked about it. The main purpose is to make the victims feel like they are losing their mind. So how would that apply to you? Read on.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.