Narcissists can pick and choose what parts of their traits they display to the public, like charm and humor. To their targets, like us, they can carefully choose what parts to display. This includes their passive aggressive nature. At any given time, they can release those different aspects, thereby creating confusion in those they display the traits to.
Narcissists don’t just whip out their arsenal of tactics and traits whenever they want. They actually have perfect timing in when they choose to display their passive aggressive nature.
1. Silent Treatment
The Silent Treatment is the most popular form of passive aggressive (PA) behavior that Narcissists can display. They will deploy the use of the Silent Treatment when they feel it will benefit them. In their eyes, they are punishing us for any and all perceived slights against them.
PA behavior in others
Sometimes, even relatively healthy people can exhibit passive aggressive behaviors. It might be how they deal with things. It might just be their personality. A person CAN have a PA personality and not be a Narcissist.
Those with a passive aggressive personality are more apt to feel misunderstood and underappreciated. They habitually claim they have been cheated out of what they feel they are owed. They even play the role of victim by passing the buck – as in, they never take responsibility for their actions. They are complainers, whiners and criticizers.
I can see how the above paragraph can be seen as taking on traits of a Narcissist. In fact, many Narcissistic traits can be found in the PA personality. But not all those with a PA personality are Narcissists.
Triangulation is another tool in the Narcissist’s arsenal of tactics. They can easily use another person (or multiple people) to assist with the abuse. Some of those times, those additional people may not even know they are being used in this manner.
I remember in May 2016, I called my daughter to wish her a happy birthday. I didn’t spend long on the phone with her, as they were obviously getting ready to go out. Not long into the conversation, I hear my NX’s new supply in the background. She was quite close to the phone, as I could hear every word. As it turned out, she was doing my daughter’s hair! I knew they were getting ready to go out to dinner to celebrate her birthday. In a normal situation, that hair combing and such would have waited until after the phone conversation ended. But not when you are dealing with a Narcissist! They do that sort of thing on purpose!
Other PA behaviors
Narcissists hate being found out. They will do anything to keep us quiet, even if that means scaring us into silence. They will display numerous other passive aggressive behaviors to achieve this goal. Among them are:
Why we don’t understand it
Before my NX came into my life, I never had a reason to understand what Narcissism is or what a passive aggressive personality is. Society generally doesn’t need to know the depths of topics such as these. We never had a reason to know. This is why we don’t really understand it. Until we are faced with the situation, that is. Until we are forced to understand.
What have been your experiences with the Narcissist and his or her passive aggressive behaviors? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.