Narcissists heavily rely on put downs and biting remarks to sting their targets. They know exactly what will drive us down further into the pits of despair so that they can maintain power over us. This type of humor is known as caustic humor.
The word caustic, as defined by The Free Dictionary, takes on several meanings:
By these above definitions then, we can conclude that when Narcissists spew out these kind of remarks, they do so knowing full well that what they say will burn us to the core. This type of “humor” is specifically designed to tear the target’s emotional state of mind apart.
Why they rely on it
Narcissists rely so heavily on this type of humor because they feel it keeps them in control of us. They think of themselves as so erudite if they come up with new ways to insult us or put us down. They know their remarks are cruel and corrosive.
My NX would toss out these remarks almost every day. He’d strut around like a vain peacock afterwards, almost as if to pat himself on the back for being so clever.
Why it hurts us so much
Narcissists get sick enjoyment out of seeing us beg for mercy. It’s almost like when, in the movie A Christmas Story, the bully Scut Farkus holds Flick in an arm lock and makes Flick scream “Uncle!” Narcissists are the same way. They torture us and torture us until we beg for them to stop. They want to see us in pain. They know what they say and do cut us to the quick.
How do they know what to say to make us hurt so much?
You see, in the beginning, Narcissists use their sneaky ways to find out everything they can about us. They go on a hunting mission of sorts. It’s a reconnaissance mission that aims to give them our secrets, our fears, our likes and dislikes, and our dreams. They take this info and tuck it away.
Then, when they know we’re hooked on them, they begin to take out pieces of the information and use it in a demeaning way. My parents had divorced when I was very young. My NX of course found this out about my past when we first got together. He often used this insult, twisting it to suit his needs. He’d say that my father was never around, when in fact he truly was. Every weekend.
Narcissists take what the true facts are and twist it to fit their evil scheme. Their remarks hurt so much because they know our sensitivities and vulnerabilities. They know if they even say something in a hurtful way that it’ll bring us down. And keep us down. They need us to be scared into submission. They want to break us.
Narcissists will continue to use this caustic humor because it is one of the many ways they feel that they can keep control over us. They will continue to be as hurtful as they can. The best thing we can do for ourselves is go No Contact and move forward in our healing journey.
What has been your experience with Narcissists and their caustic humor? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.