I have asked myself that question numerous times. They plot. They scheme. They smear our good name. They destroy our spirit. They want to see us fall. They want to see us “lose it” so that they can point the fingers and say we’re the unstable ones. Why do they do this? Why do Narcissists hate us so much?
I think it’s because I had this question in my own mind that I had to write this blog. I keep asking myself that question in regards to my NX. Why does he do such evil things? Why does he say such mean-spirited things? Why can’t he just leave me alone?
In order to answer that question, I had to look at who and what Narcissists are. One of their main traits is that they are jealous. Plain and simple jealousy.
Narcissists are jealous because any time a target/victim has any kind of success, they quickly turn on their jealousy button. They can’t stand to see anyone else in the spotlight or receive recognition for anything.
The reasons for their jealousy are threefold:
1. They resent you.
Narcissists cannot stand when someone else gets the recognition. They think they should have gotten that recognition or accolade. They think they are entitled to it! (After all, a high sense of entitlement is at the core of what a Narcissist is.)
2. They might look bad.
Narcissists think that if you receive an award or some other kind of recognition, that it will make them look bad. They have a strong desire to always be better than everyone else, so if you have any kind of success or happiness, they will strive to be better than you. They will want to appear as if they are happier than you, or more successful. They might say things like, “Oh me and (the NS) bought a new home” or “I’m so in love with (the NS) because she (or he) helps make me be a better person.” Let’s get this straight – the Narcissist is NOT happier than you. That happiness is a façade that will soon crumble.
3. They think you don’t deserve the success or happiness that you do get.
This connects with the first reason. Narcissists get jealous of you because of your success. They feel that your success or happiness came too easily for you. Like it got handed to you on a silver platter. They scoff at your success because they think that you don’t have what it takes to succeed. That you aren’t smart enough or have enough education to rise up and be truly successful in life. They feel they do though! They think they are the ones who have the right stuff.
The above three reasons for their jealousy all stem from the fact that the Narcissists can’t stand to see anyone in the spotlight. Since they feel they are superior to everyone else, they feel they are more deserving of the success. If someone pays you a compliment, the Narcissists have to verbally beat you down to make you feel worthless and undesired. They feel justified for “putting you in your place.”
“See, in the beginning, the narcissist will love you. You are still ‘bamboozled’ by his or her fake charm, and he or she loves the ‘positive’ reflection back to them that rebounds off you. However, once you see the truth, once you see the stony-ice of his or her heart, the narcissist will hate you. You reflect the truth – the negative image – back to them, and this they do not want to see. The narcissist cannot handle the truth because his or her whole entire entity relies on keeping the lie alive. The truth will not set the narcissist free, it will kill them by destroying their image. (To the narcissist, their image is who they are. If you destroy the image, you destroy the man or woman.)”
You cannot control what the Narcissists say or do. You can only control yourself and your reactions. The Narcissists will bring out their hatred for you with full force. They will declare all out war on you and do what they can to bring you down. They need to see you defeated and feeling worthless. When they bring out their jealousy and show their hatred for you – and they will show their hatred – just do what I do. Ignore them. There’s nothing you can do anyway. You won’t win with them. Nothing you do or don’t do will ever please them. So don’t even try. Just go about living your life and be awesome.
How have you dealt with the Narcissist hating you? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.