It is inevitable in our lives that we will eventually cross paths with the every day garden variety bully. The bully who thinks the world of themselves. The bully who humiliates others on social media. The bully who intimidates and threatens to get their way. So what happens when we “meet” this bully? What can we do to thwart their tactics?
Well in today’s world, it’s easy for bullies to be what they are. The internet makes it that much more easy for bullies to continue their reign of terror. It’s easier for them to spread vicious rumors and lies, all at the touch of a button or two.
How can you deal with these bullies, then?
I’ve come across a few such bullies in my lifetime. A few of which just happened to be within the last year. Starting this blog wasn’t easy for me. The bully in my life (the NX) conditioned me to be ashamed of what I endured. When I finally found my voice, I let my words speak loudly through my blog. It takes courage for a narcissistic and emotional abuse survivor to speak out.
The bullies who targeted me evidently felt my words were encroaching on theirs. How do you placate them while still maintaining your integrity as a blogger and writer? Especially when the bullies were targeting my work? How do you not let it ruin your reputation as a survivor?
I dealt with them the same way I dealt with bullies in my school years. I stood up for myself. I did a complete overhaul on the work that they felt encroached on theirs. They still felt that wasn’t good enough.
Pretty typical of a bully, in my opinion. Nothing you do will ever be good enough for them.
In all my years, I have always felt that bullying was supposed to be just a grade school thing. I mean, here we are, as adults, and grown people are intimidating and threatening others. Aren’t we supposed to be teaching today’s youth what NOT to do? How are their actions as adults supposed to teach today’s children that bullying is wrong when they themselves are doing it? Children learn by watching others, and if they see adults doing it, they will model that behavior!
Dealing with the bullies in your life is a daunting task, I know. You have to handle it with kid gloves. Diffuse the situation while still maintaining your integrity. You need to handle the situation if it’s compromising your work. If it’s undermining your integrity. If it’s destroying your reputation. That’s what bullies want, isn’t it? They want to take you down. So don’t let them. Stand up for yourself, but do so with compassion and grace.
Standing up for yourself takes guts. You need to be assertive. Not aggressive. Aggression will not stand because you’d be doing the same thing the bully is doing. Diffusing the situation. Politely. Sometimes, that’s still not good enough though.
The good thing about the internet is that if the bullies still won’t let up with their intimidation, threats and such, you can easily just click the “block” button. Shut them out of your life. Removing yourself from the equation is sometimes the best option. The bullies will obviously not stop until they have won, so when you remove yourself from the situation, you are simply protecting yourself.
Don’t let them dictate to you what you can and cannot do. In my case, I won’t let them win. I won’t let them dictate to me what I can and cannot write. Topics will be discussed ad nauseum. Over and over and over. No one can claim copyright on a topic!
And what would happen if I just did what they demanded? I’d be compromising my beliefs. My voice. My story as a survivor. I’d be letting them win. And they’d know they could continue to harass and bully me into it again.
Why does bullying even happen in the first place?
When you are a child, the first question that runs through your mind is, “Why did they pick me?” The meaning behind why the bully chose you is beyond a child’s comprehension most of the time. But as we grow older, we learn that the reason isn’t because of us. The reason the bully picks us is because of them. It’s never about the victim. It’s about the bully themselves and the issues that they have! The bully is the one with the problems. Not you.
Bullies want us to react. That’s their goal in life. They want us to feel fear and jump when they say jump. They want us to obey their commands. They want to strip us of our confidence and power. They bait us just to get us to react. That’s what they want. They want to know they got to us. That their words hurt us. When you don’t respond the way they want, you take away their power. Don’t let them steal your joy, your voice and your power. Stand up for yourself, yes. But know when to walk away.
How have you dealt with bullies? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.