Narcissists are typically characterized by having a grandiose sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and several other traits. Many times, though, Narcissists are not outwardly exhibiting these traits to the point of obviousness. Many Narcissists are covert in nature.
To be covert is to be secretive and stealthy. To go undercover and hide one’s true motives. When discussing Covert Narcissism, it can then be ascertained that a Covert Narcissist is one who obtains his or her goals in a hidden manner while donning a mask of charm and wit.
Why is it insidious?
Covert Narcissism is insidious because of the gradual nature of its cruelty. Narcissists who proceed in a cautious way to achieve their goals will, without a doubt, create a more harmful outcome in their targets. Why? Because the target “won’t see it coming” since the abuse is so systematic and cumulative. The damage will have already been done by that point.
That is the Narcissist’s goal – to have their abuse be so gradual that it isn’t detected until it’s too late. That after a while, we become conditioned to accept their treatment of us as normal. Perhaps we deserved it, we may think. Perhaps if we were just more understanding of their busy day, we may think. Narcissists condition us to believe that we are the ones at fault for the abuse.
Covert Narcissists are observers by nature. They observe our mannerisms, our rate of speech, even the words we choose. Then, they match all of that. They tend to take on a more subtle approach to their abuse because it is an underhanded way to undermine our confidence and success in life.
Covert Narcissists also display a more reserved personality and pretend to be vulnerable to reel you in. They act like the proverbial victim needing to be rescued to appeal to your sense of empathy and willingness to help.
Despite their best efforts to remain relatively hidden, Covert Narcissists can give themselves away. Their body language suggests that they have an air of superiority about them – heavy sighs, eye rolling, lack of eye contact, dismissive gestures, and fake yawning.
What has been your experience with Covert Narcissists? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.