In healthy human behavior, we account for our actions by accepting responsibility for them. We take ownership of our words and actions and make amends where we need to. However, with Narcissists, that is not the case. They will justify their behavior.
“There’s a good reason for that.”
Has the Narcissist in your life ever said that? Mine has. Narcissists will make every attempt to explain their bad behavior away. They think that they have a right to do what they do. That other people made them do it.
Therein lies the Narcissist’s justification – they think their targets make them act the way they do, so they feel entitled to be abusive.
What about these statements?
“You pushed me too far.”
“You know exactly how to push my buttons.”
“You wanted me to get angry. You did it on purpose.”
"You made me act this way. I wouldn't have gotten angry if you didn't do what you did."
"You should have listened to me. Why don't you ever listen to me? I did this because you don't ever listen to me."
Those statements are more justifications in the Narcissist’s eyes. They think that we do things on purpose so that they’d “go off” on us. It comes back to the Narcissists not taking responsibility for their actions. They will blame everyone but themselves for what they do or say.
And it’s not just in their actions or words, either. Narcissists will feel justified to blame us for everything that goes wrong in their lives. The NX in my life would always blame me for him having a bad day at work. Maybe the N in your life blames you for them having a bad day too. Maybe it’s because the N failed a class in school. Maybe it’s because they misplaced something and they are blaming you, saying you hid the item on them. It doesn’t matter. The N will feel justified to abuse us no matter what.
And abuse us, they will.
If they feel bad, they will make sure we feel worse. They wind up feeling superior because they hurt us. They feed off of how they treat us. Their justifications bolster their ego and sense of entitlement. The worse we feel, the more they do it. The more they blame us.
Narcissists will never admit fault or defeat. To admit to something of that magnitude Is to admit they are wrong. They cannot handle that. So instead, they will continue to rationalize and justify what they do. They lack empathy, and therefore don’t care about how you feel.
What are your thoughts on Narcissists justifying their behavior? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.