Narcissists excel in mirroring others – how they act, how they speak, and even the words they use. It’s no wonder then that Narcissists can blend in so well. Narcissists are the epitome of charm, wit and popularity. So it stands to reason that so many are fooled by them.
They’re wonderful – aren’t they?
The N will don a mask of charm and perfection for society. They act, say and do things that they think they are supposed to do within their communities. It’s all so they can go undetected. They create the perfect public image. An image of happiness. An image of harmony. The image of white picket fences and the family man (or family woman).
Narcissists are actors. They will put on a show when in the presence of others and treat you like gold. They will sing your praises – from how good you cook, to how great of a parent you are, or even how amazing of a child you are. They will even use their consistent moving around as an excuse that they are trying to further their education or career “for the kids” or “for the betterment of the marriage.” Then, others will no doubt admire the N for wanting to provide for the family.
The Narcissists will also laugh at others’ jokes. They will help their neighbors. They will volunteer. Your friends will turn to you and say how helpful the N is and how lucky you are to have the N in your life. I have had countless people tell me that about the NX. How they thought he was the most charming, most friendly person they had ever met. I thought, “Were they talking about the same person as the one I’m married to?” Shaking my head, I would think that maybe I was having an off day and they were right – maybe I was lucky he was in my life. Maybe I shouldn’t be so critical of him because of the workload he has. Maybe I should be more understanding. Yeah, maybe.
But it’s not maybe. It’s a “never was” because I knew something was wrong. I knew the NX wasn’t as wonderful as everyone was making him out to be. I knew I wasn’t the crazy one. I knew I wasn’t making things up.
Yet, every time I tried to speak up about what I was enduring, people turned to me and said, “Are you sure you didn’t do something to upset him?” It astounds me to think that people who supposedly had my back, people who were supposed to support me, were thinking that I was lying about what I was going through. They all thought HE was the most wonderful person on the planet.
The stark reality
The reality behind the Narcissist’s wonderful exterior is this – they are the most cruel creatures that ever walked this earth. They are not charming. They are not friendly. They are not helpful. It’s all a ruse. It’s fake.
The stark reality behind their false public image is one of pure shock and disgust. It is a betrayal of the highest order. The person who was supposed to love and protect you is the very same one who is trying to destroy you.
Narcissists aren’t as wonderful as they are making themselves out to be. They are, in fact, cruel creatures whose only aim is to destroy their targets. Sooner or later, the N’s false image will crumble and people will begin to see the N for what they are.
What are your thoughts? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
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How I Lost My Identity
The Fake Apology
Effects of Emotional Abuse
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Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.