So, with all this talk on Narcissists and the destruction they leave in their wake, I'm sure you're asking yourself, "Well, what IS a Narcissist, anyway?"
Quite honestly, you've likely encountered a narcissist or two in your comings and goings. Something may not have seemed quite right with them. An arrogant persona. A sense of entitlement. Check out the list below and you will begin to take more notice of the people in your life - a romantic partner, a colleague or a family member.
1. A grandiose sense of self-importance. You will hear that phrase often in articles or conversations surrounding narcissists. It means the person greatly exaggerates achievements and talents, often providing embellishments to the stories that just aren't true. (For example, he received awards and accolades that he never did.) He will also demand to be recognized as superior and all-knowing.
2. Feels a sense of entitlement. My NX would always expect to be treated more favorably than others in a social circle, his place of employment or in our home. He expected for people to always agree with him, to wait on him hand and foot, or if he asked something of me (or anyone else), he expected for that to be taken care of immediately.
3. Requires, and frankly expects, admiration and adulation. He will feel as if he's earned the praise of others. When he doesn't receive it, he will make a scene in public to draw attention to the fact that he did not get all the attention and praise that he feels is owed to him.
4. Believes that he is special and one-of-a-kind. Because of this, he feels he ought to hob-nob with other special and one-of-a-kind people, typically those in high-status people (or high ranking officials). My NX was an E-3 in the military, but that didn't stop him from brown-nosing the higher ranking officers and hob-nobbing with them.
5. Lacks empathy. He does not nor will he ever care about the needs of others, including his spouse and children. Because the NX feels it's all about him, he will refuse to acknowledge the needs or desires of others. Every time I began to open my mouth to voice an opinion or that I needed something, my NX would interrupt me and either tell me I didn't want what I said I did, or he'd turn the conversation around to make it all about him.
6. Very envious. The Narcissist will be quite envious of others, or truly believe that others are envious of him. My NX would always say, "Oh they're just jealous" whenever he received acknowledgment for something, so he felt justified in saying others were jealous of his achievements. In fact, the opposite is true, as well. I know my NX is envious of my children's achievements in school. He takes FULL credit for their good grades, their student of the month awards and other scholastic achievements.
7. Playing the victim. The Narcissist is VERY good at turning the tables to appear as if he is the victim. My NX weaves such a "woe is me" tale, that anyone would fall for. Heck, the courts did. That's how HE got custody of the children! And any new supply would certainly fall for the NX playing the victim card.
8. Rejects criticism. In fact, the Narcissist abhors criticism. Narcs cannot stand being told they are wrong, that they need improvement, or that something could be done differently than they do it. My NX would fly into a rage (see my post on The Narcissistic Rage) whenever I was even slightly critical of something that he said or did.
9. Excels at blaming others. A Narcissist cannot or will not ever accept responsibility for things they say or do. Instead, the Narc will blame someone else for what goes wrong. I was always on the receiving end of that blame. My NX would always tell me that it was my fault that he had a bad day at work, that it was my fault that dinner was ruined, that the garbage wasn't taken out, that the laundry wasn't put away, that the living room still looked messy, etc etc etc.
Does anything in the above list sound familiar? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
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An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.