Scenario: A male Narcissst, his wife and children get in their vehicle to go somewhere. Not long after they are on the road, the Narc begins his argument.
Does this sound familiar?
This is what I call The Captive Audience. The Narcissist will purposely wait until they have you in a place where you cannot escape from. You are forced to listen to their diatribe! My NX saved many many fights for when we traveled in the car. It was the perfect opportunity to unleash his wrath!
Typically, Narcissists don't like to have an audience when unleashing their wrath. That's why I was always bewildered at why the NX chose many times with the children in the car.
He'd scream, "What are you gonna do? Jump out of the car? You're crazy." And right there, he immediately implied how he thought I was crazy. It was planting a seed in the brains of my children, too. They began to learn that I was disrespected. And took it! How could I have not? I was in the car. Initially, I would argue with him. But I quickly learned that it only added fuel to his fire. So, I just learned to sit there. And take it. Inevitably, tears would well up in my eyes. Sure, his words hurt. But my children witnessed their father treating their mother that way. Then he'd say, "Oh, what are you gonna cry now? You little cry baby." And when we got to where we were going, he got out of the car and acted like nothing was wrong. (See my post on Narc Rage here and why they act like nothing happened.) And I was left with a tear-stained face. Have you been on the receiving end of Narc rage? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
4 Comments
laura
6/4/2016 12:24:16 pm
Unfortunately,i'm still at the receiving end of narc rage.My abusers are my parents.And,as you wrote,the rage takes place when i can't escape them.Due to being unemployed,i'm forced to accept food and money from them.Once a week,i go visit them and,every time,it's horrible.I come back home with deep wounds in my heart.I'm thinking about making a phone call to someone who once offered to help me.Maybe we can develop a secret code.For example,when i go visit my abusers,i let him know beforehand. If they get violent and if things get out of control,i might beep him so he can call the police.Right now,i'm gathering the courage to pick up the phone and call him.Do you think that would be the right thing to do? It could be my only chance to end the abuse forever.I'd appreciate your advice.To call or not to call?
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Jenn
6/4/2016 08:46:16 pm
Laura....Many times, abusers can be parents too. I am sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. I like your idea of contacting a friend to be there for you in the event that something gets out of hand with the abusers. I did the very same thing back in July 2013 when I dropped off my children to their father (after my visit with them). Even though it's a 3 hour time difference, my best friend said she'd be there for me if I needed to call her....our code word was "banana." Silly, I know. But it worked. I did call her, even though it was 3am back on the east coast. My point is that it's always good to have a plan in place in case something happens. I'm proud of you for thinking it through. Take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you.
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Wendy
6/5/2016 03:32:31 pm
The kids were grown so I was the only witness to this behavior - yup - he would wait till we got in the car and most of the time it was in the way home from a restaurant. Yes - I did jump out of the car more than once and walk miles home. Well, they say a walk after dinner is good for you. 😂 16 months free !!
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Jenn
6/5/2016 04:55:57 pm
Wendy.....It's amazing to me that though the people in the game are different, that our stories are so very similar. I feel like I should know you or something. Ya know? We go through such similar things and yet, we are different. Way to go on being 16 months free!!
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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