Have you ever heard the quote "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? It originated from a 1697 play by William Congreve. Well, the same can be said about a Narcissist.....Hell hath no fury like a Narc you dare to disagree with or point out they're wrong.
There are several Narcissist characteristics that are worthy of mention. But Narc rage is one of the top most chilling and dangerous. Why? Because it can sometimes be spontaneous with no warning at all. The victim is left shaken, while the Narc continues about their day as if nothing had happened.
Narcissists feels "better" after releasing the rage, which is why they can continue on with their day as if nothing happened. I remember so many times, I would be crying on the couch, pouting, or sulking while watching TV. My NX would come into the room after the rage and say, "Well, what's wrong with you? Stop being such a cry baby about nothing."
Narcissists have a character flaw in that they will see themselves as deserving of complete adoration of all who know them. They will be under the assumption that every one around them must agree with and obey everything they say and do. Any word of disapproval or disagreement from a significant other, co-worker, or acquaintance, will unleash the wrath. The Narc will go full on rage. And rarely will this rage ever take place in public!
Those not in the know will say "Oh he acts like that because he has low self esteem." In all honesty, there's a lot more to it that just that. At the very core of a Narc is the insatiable need to be better than everyone else, to be smarter, or to be more successful. To boost their own fragile ego, they must act superior and all-knowing.
Narcissists will always talk down to those around them, as if they always know better. They need to feel more important and smarter. When this false self is challenged, or when someone disagrees with them, they will fly into this rage. It's very akin to an injured animal striking out in fear. The Narc will feel threatened that their facade is becoming visible. They feel their grandiose core is at risk. They must strike out at all who challenge their perceived superiority.
I've witnessed 2 types of rage in my NX - explosive and passive-aggressive. Both are rather dangerous. The explosive because it is a violent outburst that is either verbal or physical.....or both. The passive-aggressive because it's an inward punishment. Narcissists will go stone cold quiet and sulk for hours or days to "punish" the victim for the perceived slight.
The worst explosive Narc rage incident with my NX that I will never forget was at the end of May 2008. We were moving from one state to another. We were somewhere in between, I believe, at a hotel for the night. The exact location is of no significance. It's the event that occurred in the hotel room that night.
I was getting ready for bed, and placed my glasses on the nightstand. The dog we owned at the time had a penchant for chewing on anything she could reach. The dog got ahold of my glasses. I launched off the bed, and started to scream at her. I thought maybe the dog would let go of the glasses.
The NX didn't like this, and had taken it as an aggressive act against him. He started screaming at me. I screamed back. I sat on the bed, acting like I was going to go to bed. He angrily walks over, as he's now standing over me. Still screaming at me like he's scolding me, he punched me twice on my left arm. (Screaming at me not to scream at the dog. Makes total sense, right?)
I wasn't as terrified over being hit (though that did hurt). I was more concerned with the fact that my then 2 year old daughter was cowering behind the hotel room chair because she had witnessed the whole thing!! Oh....did I mention that I was also 3 months pregnant with my son at the time??
Back then, I never understood why my NX would fly into these rages. But the more they happened, the more withdrawn I became. I tried to anticipate the rages, and did what I could to avoid him having them. I know now that was no way to live!
But now? Now, I have learned what Narc rage is and what causes it. I now know it was never about me. It was always about him.
Were you on the receiving end of a Narc's rage? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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