A reader recently brought up a very good point. She said, "How do you defend yourself against a smear campaign when you don't even know what's being said?"
This led me to want to break the smear campaign down a bit.
In my post, The Smear Campaign, I discussed how the smearing is a premeditated effort to destroy the target's reputation. The Narcissists begin their campaign even before the end of the relationship to lay down the groundwork.
But if the Narcissist does all of this smearing behind your back, how in the world can you defend yourself against such tactics?
This is what I said to my reader.......I guess it boils down to this: Since we don't have any way of knowing what's being said when we aren't around, there really is no way to defend yourself. That is, except to just go on living your truth and doing what you do. The best quote I heard regarding this is "When you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." Basically, we just tell our truths and live our lives the best way we know how, and someday we will be vindicated.
What I said above to my reader is so true. When we go about our lives and live our truth, we create a realm that speaks volumes. It is an undeniable way for others to see that we are not what the Narcissists say we are. That there are contradictions and discrepancies in what the Narcissists say versus what they do.
Others might think, "Wait.....the Narcissist said you were crazy, but you're a nice person."
Or, "But the Narcissist said you were jealous. You aren't."
Or, "The Narcissists said they changed because of the new relationship in their lives. But I still see them get angry."
Yes, the Narcissists take all you told them about your personal life, your fears, your dreams and use that against you. They strive to destroy your esteem, your worth and your confidence. Yes, they even weave a tale of woe to your friends and family to get them to turn against you. The Narcissists want to torment you and force you to stay silent about what you endured. Why? Because they can't have you talk freely about your experiences. They don't want their abuse to come to light.
That's the essence of the smear campaign. To destroy your reputation.
The best way - in fact, the only way - to combat that is to just keep on living your life the best way you know how. Live your truth. Share your experiences. Be vocal. Don't let the Narcissists scare you into silence.
What experiences have you had with a smear campaign? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.