They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. With Narcissists, however, the eyes have a completely different use altogether. Narcissists have no soul and therefore cannot convey THEIR emotions. But they can certainly instill certain emotions within US.
I’ve always been fascinated with human eyes and what they can do, what they can convey and what they can potentially reveal. We can say so much just simply looking at someone else in a particular way. We can soften our gaze to convey sympathy or love. We can harden our gaze to appear intense or rough.
With Narcissists, though, it’s a completely different story. They use these differing ways to use and abuse their targets. Attract and entice In the beginning, Narcissists want to appear alluring to us. They soften their eyes to give the impression that they can feel what we feel, or that they can appeal to our sense of longing. They can seduce us with just a simple look, and maybe even when they add in a wink. I liken it to how we feel as teenagers when we have our first serious relationship and the other person just stares deep into our eyes and we just feel their intensity. It’s a mesmerizing moment in time with them. They persuade us with their eyes. They entice us into seeing what they want us to see. That they are only made up of good qualities. They pull us in with their deep desire for us. I remember the first time I met my NX. Ironically, it was when I was still married to my first husband. We were both in the medical field at the time. We conveniently met, only because he was working with someone I knew. So I stopped to say hello to my old friend, and I was subsequently introduced to my ex. I also remember the enticing stare he gave me that day. I recall a quick look of disapproval when he noticed the ring on my left hand, signifying that I was married. That evidently didn’t stop him from giving me his phone number that day. He had a soft loving look in his eyes. And that’s the thing with Narcissists. They do not give off the vibe that anything is amiss. They want to hook us in. The look of indifference When the devaluation begins, the Narcissists will take on a look of indifference. Their eyes will give off the impression that they just don’t care anymore. (Hint: They never cared at all!) It is this look that can begin to tear apart the victims. We could have SWORN they loved us! They looked at us like they did. And they even said they did! This indifference will feel like they just simply turned off their emotions like we turn off a faucet in the kitchen. Their gaze becomes hollow and empty. The stare that once contained sparks and fireworks, now just is devoid of any signs of life. Naturally, when this happens, we go running to the Narcissists and beg them to tell us what is wrong, why they don’t care, and what we can do to get back what was once a good thing. (Hint: There never were any good times with the Narcissist!) Evil at its finest I’m not sure what is worse. The look of indifference or the stare that conveys pure hatred and evil. The Narcissists will stare us down to get us to comply with their demands. It’s a hard stare that cause us to feel fear, and even send chills down our spines. Their eyes are dark and evil. Cold. No feeling in them whatsoever. Ever hear of the phrase “If looks could kill”? Narcissists have that kind of impact with this evil stare of theirs. Their hard evil stare can convey such hatred that we begin to wonder if they were even human to begin with! We feel small and insignificant. Their evil stare can sometimes be accompanied by vicious comments and threats. Even after the discard, the Narcissists will still glare at us with contempt and disdain. They will think of us as bothersome or an annoyance, the way we typically think of bugs in the summertime. They need to treat us as if we are insignificant because they want for us to feel small and worthless. That’s what the evil stare is all about. Their way to tell us that they hold such hatred for us, such contempt, that we mean nothing to them. Never have, never will. Bottom line The stare is a Narcissist’s most valuable weapon in their war to take us down. It’s a weapon that they employ the use of on a consistent basis to create such a maelstrom that we feel like we are being tossed around like a ragdoll in a dryer machine. We will feel the highest of highs when we are given the enticing stare. And we will feel the lowest of lows when we are given the stare of indifference. It all boils down to the fact that a Narcissist’s stare can literally bring us to our knees and destroy our spirit. What has been your experience with The Stare? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
7 Comments
Irma
1/28/2018 11:52:38 pm
My N has beautiful green eyes, which is what I believe was attracted to. I would always compliment him and never received a compliment in the 5 years married. Strangely enough when he thought i wasn't listening his eyes would look evil with dark circles. It was almost like he was possessed. That stare was horribly just crazy. That's when I knew that hate was for real
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Colleen
1/29/2018 02:05:46 am
I stared him down once, but he couldn't lose, so he called the cops and made up a lie.
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Amanda Press
1/29/2018 07:01:34 am
My Ex's death stare would literally make me wet my self in fear because I knew what was coming my way next was not going to be good... The fear he installed in me had me in fight or flight mode constantly..
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Aleyda Sevilla-Hernandez
10/20/2018 08:01:45 pm
The day I gave birth to my first baby girl my mother came to visit me at the hospital. She wanted to hold my new born but I said no my husband was there with me all the time. The nurse suggested to let her sleep because she was very tired coming out of the womb. My mother hated the idea and asked me when my husband was going to leave. She did not like that he was staying with me the whole day. She sat at a corner and she froze. There it was that evil stare she did not move or showed emotion she was just starting at my baby so hard and I could notice her eyes were liveless dark she was in deep taught it made me feel uncortable scared I could feel her negative energy up and down my spine. I told my sister to bring my baby closer to me because I was unconfortable then she got up and quickly tried to pick up my baby I said no I don't want you to pick her up, I just want her right next to me.
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Niki Stone
4/23/2021 08:59:42 pm
I've been having anxiety dreams about the 'evil stare' and its been bringing up flashbacks of different modes of stare he possessed. I can still feel the burning of this stare and how you describe it is so accurate. I have the ability to see people's darkness in their eyes and when he found this out he never let me look into his eyes. The only time was when I was about to abandon him, he would look at me so intensely with the widest eyes it was like a spell that I would forgive him. Towards the end, I seriously thought he was going to kill me based on the way he looked at me. He assaulted me, spent the night in jail, then told police he needed protection from me. He punished me by making me spend two nights in a hotel, then hoovered me back in with endless cooking. That's when I felt the most scared for my life. The fact that he could look at me like that and then act like he cared. His eyes changed again back to the love strucked eyes after I moved out. It nearly made me think he had changed and missed me to the point I was thinking we could try again. The weapon is the eyes but with experience it's easy to unarm a narc and walk away with pride. My first nex used to get angry when I wouldn't look him in the eyes, but I think this was because he was sadistic and enjoyed seeing my pain - luckily I don't remember much of that relationship and soon hopefully I won't remember much of this one. But death stare is haunting me :(
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i met a man last year he acted like he liked me i knew i would never be his type and he would never be interested but as time went on he stared at me all the time he would follow me around the store where he work i asked him if he would ever be interested in me he said no and i wasnt his type so why did you look
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Catherine
7/11/2022 07:29:42 am
My narcissist death stare was from an Elektra impersonator at her daddy's death-bed. She projected a look full of evil, she had an owl-face, cold with empty eyes, her face blank and impervious. Yuck. I left.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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