Narcissists do not come right out and admit any wrongdoing, nor do they outright confess their sins. When dealing with Narcissists, it’s always best to listen closely. Listen closely, readers, for Narcissists will let you in on a little secret – they confess their sins through the art of projection.
In my first blog on Projection, I defined what projection is and listed some examples of how projection is used. In this post, I want to dive more into why Narcissists use projection.
If you recall, projection is defined as transferring your own ideas, feelings and opinions onto another person. That’s what Narcissists do when they accuse you of something.
But why do Narcissists use projection?
Knowing what we know about what projection is, we can begin to ask ourselves why someone would use this kind of tactic on another person. What purpose does it serve? Narcissists use projection solely for the purpose of not being discovered. They don’t want people finding out who and what they are. So they deflect their imperfections onto others. Narcissists will accuse you of cheating, of being the unstable one, being a liar, or being a deadbeat parent. Narcissists don’t want to admit wrongdoing, so instead of being introspective, they spew their negative feelings and thoughts onto you. They loudly proclaim that they are never wrong. So to combat that, they justify their bad behavior by blaming others and accusing them for the things that they themselves are doing. “The narcissist will use any method available to project. This means fabricating, distorting, assigning significance to, or exaggerating what you said or did as ‘evidence’, and / or quoting third party allies which can also be fabricated.”
By the Narcissists projecting in any manner necessary, they avoid having to accept responsibility for their actions. Even when you confront them, they will deny the claim and turn it around back onto you.
Why do they use projection? Because they can’t handle accepting their faults. We all have them. Narcissists just can’t accept that because they feel that they are perfect and superior to all others. Bottom line When you are the target of the Narcissistic projection tactic, you will no doubt rush to defend yourself and prove that you are not what they say. Rushing to defend yourself is exactly what the Narcissists want. They will see you as desperate, unstable and crazy. They will just turn and say that you are proving their point for them. It is a struggle, and one that you will not win. Has the Narcissist used projection on you? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
5 Comments
Beth
2/25/2017 05:00:27 pm
Thank you for this article.. my narc uses this tactic of projection VERY often. It's interesting to understand now that this is his way of revealing his "sins" or wrong doings. It makes a lot of sense because I believe he has cheated on me many times but he is damn good at covering his tracks, and this would explain his need to constantly accuse me of being a cheater and a liar on a daily basis. I think it must secretly eat him alive inside that he's lived double lives and cheated on me, so he must "deal with it" by making me look like the cheater and one that is totally deceptive. We have a child together so he also projects his lack of parental responsibilities on me by constantly accusing me of "never making enough quality time for our son and him" because I am in college and working to make ends meet. It all makes sense now..
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Jenn
2/26/2017 05:37:55 pm
Beth.....You're welcome. I'm sorry you have had to go through this too. Since starting my blog last year, I have discovered that there are so many of us survivors out there who share similar stories. I keep saying to myself, "Do they all take the same 'How to Be a Narc' class or something?" LOL. When I discovered what projection was, so much began to make sense. I think that's the way it is for many survivors like us. Little by little, things start to make sense about their behaviors. If you haven't already, stop in to my Facebook page by this same name and give the page a like. I post quite a bit there too. Take care.
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Kaisha
3/4/2017 03:13:34 pm
One thing you can do to help heal is Falun Gong. Check it out at www.falundafa.org It is taught for free, easy to learn. It is the highest form of Qi Gong there is. Five easy exercises. Do it everyday. I started it whilst still with the narc. I am sure it helped make him show his true colors sooner, and when he went to Afghanistan and sent a threatening email, that was all the proof I needed to show everyone how bad he really is. I put his stuff in storage, got some cash, got my name off the bank accounts, put the car in his name only, cancelled the insurance, packed my things and left.
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Jenn
3/5/2017 10:07:23 am
Kaisha.......I will check that out. Thanks for posting about the Falun Gong. I hope you are on a good healing path now. Take care.
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Carolyn
5/27/2017 09:25:25 am
The best describe a narI have ever read!!! Living it everyday!!!
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