I get it. I was there. I felt the same way. I was torn between what I felt and what I could see with my own eyes. This guest blog post explores what many survivors feel post discard. The feelings that linger long after the Narcissist disappears. We still love them. But why?
Rediscovering who we are after Narcissistic Abuse is an important part in our healing journeys. Because of the Narcissists, we had become disconnected from who we really are. We became a shell of our former selves. We didn’t recognize ourselves. So how can we reconnect with ourselves in our healing journey?
Narcissists are all about having power and control over their victims/targets. Part of having that power, in their eyes, is to use threats to get us to do what they want. When Narcissists make threatening statements, they do so to scare us into compliance. Such threats can include taking action against a beloved family pet if demands aren’t met. Let’s be clear…..threatening to harm your pet is Narcissistic Abuse.
When I read the book Psychopath Free, I was floored with how much I could relate to it. Although there were a vast number of parts to the book that struck a chord in me, one particular part got me truly thinking. And that part is having a Constant. Having a Constant in Narcissistic Abuse recovery is vital.
Narcissists are known for being both covert (secretive) and overt (open). They have a myriad of tactics that they use to gain the upper hand and confuse their targets. One of those tactics is doublespeak.
Road rage in and of itself is a sign of aggression. But looking at this one thing, we can’t conclude if another person is a Narcissist or not just because they are aggressive. It’s certainly a red flag, and that’s why we need to look at the whole. See if there are more red flags.
It’s a fact of life. We will age and grow older. We will develop wrinkles. We will begin to forget things. No one likes these things. No one likes to get older. But Narcissists? They absolutely despise aging!
Children are the innocent victims caught in the crossfire when Narcissistic parents play the loyalty conflict game. It is a fascinating topic. One that I wanted to explore more in a blog post.
Narcissists heavily rely on put downs and biting remarks to sting their targets. They know exactly what will drive us down further into the pits of despair so that they can maintain power over us. This type of humor is known as caustic humor.
What happens when you have both a Narcissistic Spouse AND a Narcissistic Mother in Law? It's a recipe for disaster, that's what. Today's guest blog post describes SPOT ON how I felt about having my NX as well as his mother against me. One of the first times I had experienced her Narcissistic behavior was when she came over to our house for a visit. She said to me, "Well, he's your problem now!"
Have you ever seen a puppeteer at work? They spend years honing their craft. As a result, they can masterfully control the levers to make the puppet move and “talk” in ways that they want it to. Many puppeteers make a living from this craft.
To divert is to reroute or change direction of something. A traffic pattern is diverted due to construction or a car crash. Your attention can be diverted from your work due to an interruption, like a phone call. By the same token, Narcissists can divert attention off of themselves by using a number of tactics in their arsenal.
Have you ever wondered why Narcissists blame everyone else for things that go wrong? Have you wondered why Narcissists never own up to their mistakes? It’s because they don’t ever take responsibility for their actions. They never hold themselves accountable.
Our bodies react to our natural surroundings. If it’s cold out, we shiver. Conversely, if it’s hot out, we sweat. The same can be said about our bodies if we find ourselves in a stressful situation. It’s a chain reaction within our bodies in response to outside stressors. This is called the Fight or Flight Response.
When you’ve made the decision to leave the Narcissist, there are barriers you may face when doing so. These obstacles can make it more difficult for your escape to be successful.
Narcissists can pick and choose what parts of their traits they display to the public, like charm and humor. To their targets, like us, they can carefully choose what parts to display. This includes their passive aggressive nature. At any given time, they can release those different aspects, thereby creating confusion in those they display the traits to.
You’ve made the decision. You want to leave. You’ve had enough and you need to get out. But how? There are dos and don’ts when it comes to safely leaving the Narcissist.
Narcissists are known for never accepting responsibility in their lives. This includes pitching in with household duties. And as such, they will end up making you feel like a servant.
Narcissists will categorize their children. They will place titles on their children in accordance with how they treat them. It doesn't matter if a family has one child or 10 children, the labels of the Scapegoat, the Conformer, the Runner and the Golden Child will always be present.
When I found out my NX had a new supply, the first question that popped into my mind was, “Will she be good to my children?” This is a very valid question to ask, my warrior survivor friends.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna (my pen name), the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
Effects of Emotional Abuse
How I Lost My Identity
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.