It’s so hard to believe that I began this blog one year ago today. With great trepidation, I pressed the publish button on the page. I couldn’t believe it. I was a blogger! In the past year, I have published 125 blogs (including this one) on Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse. I have discussed characteristics, tactics and healing methods. I have learned so much in the past year!
My biggest lesson
I think the biggest thing that I’ve learned over the course of this year is that it’s okay to have bad days while you’re healing from Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse. For a while, I was stuck in my healing journey. I mean, I was in therapy and keeping a journal. I was trying to incorporate meditation into my daily routine. Yet somehow, I found that I was still lacking in my journey. I felt my bad days were creeping back into my life. My NX knows what buttons to push and kept pushing them. I felt like I was sliding backwards in my journey. I felt like he was winning! It wasn’t until I started this page that you, my readers, helped me. Wait. How have you helped me, you may ask? Sometimes, we need an outside perspective. I’m not talking about those “outsiders” that I’ve mentioned in my posts on my Facebook page. Not the outsiders that don’t know what we go through. I’m referring to a fellow survivor’s perspective. You guys have shed a different kind of light on my healing process. I have always said that’s it’s okay to have those bad days. It means that we are just processing things further. It means we are learning coping skills. It means that we are gaining new insight. Other things learned I am not one to tout my own horn. I really never have been that kind of person. But just this once, I want to say that I am really glad I started this blog. I had NO idea that it would reach this many people. I can’t believe how many of you that I have helped. I am grateful for each and every one of you. Starting this page has helped me reach other survivors who are still struggling in their healing journeys. That is another thing I’ve learned – that this page can and does reach other struggling survivors. I have covered blog topics that I had to do research on (of course). And while researching and subsequently writing these blogs, I learned new terms, new ways to heal, new tactics. Narcissists are extremely toxic individuals! I know I have only scratched the surface with information! I know that in future blogs, I will be talking about terms new to me or talking about a new healing method I came across. I’ve also learned to be more cautious when meeting new people. Yes, I’m still friendly. But now I don’t readily spill my life story to people. If they ask specific questions, then I answer. But I no longer go into new friendships with my heart on my sleeve like I used to. I don’t trust as easily. I don’t view the world with the same set of eyes anymore. Bottom line The information that is available to survivors now is certainly much more plentiful than even 10 years ago. I know I have a long way to go in my healing journey. Truthfully, I don’t think we’ll ever be fully healed. I think there will always be a part of us that reacts to the Narcissists. I know for me, it’ll be that much more difficult because my NX has custody the children. And since they are still young, I have a ways to go before they leave his house and go off to college. What have you guys learned over the past year? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
4 Comments
I've learned so much but I think over coming there guilt they used on is the hardest part. Because it's the human compassion there counting on to bring is back. But looking back now I can't believe I fell for his reasons he needed me. It would take a team of football players to get me back in his door today. Yes he still calls luckily I've no children with him. But with him is when the days were good they were excellent which was rare,but when they were bad they were a nightmare.
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Jenn
5/7/2017 01:43:56 pm
Janice......I am sorry for what you endured. But the truth is, there were never any good times with the Narcs. They pulled wool over our eyes by giving us a false dream. I understand what you mean though about being in disbelief about falling for them.
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Tara
5/7/2017 02:28:36 pm
I've just recently started reading your blogs. Thank you for publishing. I've been on a year and 1/2 rollercoaster. There have been so many days I've thought I couldn't go on. But with the help of therapist, friends, family and finally medicine, I see a silver lining to a HUGE black cloud. I'm beginning to see myself again as I should, not as he told me. Keep strong, and keep writing. We're reading, listening, and healing with you.
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BuffyTVS
5/18/2017 11:25:45 pm
Congratulations, and thank you for having this. This has helped me so much, whether it's venting, sharing, angry, sad, hopeful. Yes, I have good and bad days. I think everything is great, and I have a nightmare about him, or I see a car that looks like his, and my whole day flips upside down. But it's good to know this is all normal, and that I will get through this. Thank you for being brave, for standing up for yourself and giving light to so many that have gone through this. I found you on facebook on one of the support groups, so glad I did. Rock on girl :)
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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