Entitlement is one of the characteristic traits of Narcissists. Entitlement is, quite simply, the special treatment that Narcissists feel they deserve. So why do Narcissists have such a high sense of entitlement?
Narcissists not only expect special treatment, they also feel they deserve this special treatment. It’s the way they perceive themselves. The perception they have of themselves is so over-inflated, that they feel they deserve favorable outcomes in everything they do.
So because they feel they deserve favorable outcomes, they feel they have a right to disrupt everyone’s life in order to achieve their desire du jour (desire of the day). This disruption can lead to chaos. The Narcissists will step over anyone getting in their way just so that they can reach their goal. Everywhere they go, they are always on the lookout for new supply sources so that they can get their needs met. These sources are fleeting. They will only need them for the time that they are pursuing their newest desire. But why do they have this entitlement? Narcissists feel they are superior to everyone around them. So they feel they are OWED this special treatment. If someone else is chosen over them, they get offended and lash out at those who they feel got in their way. It’s because the Narcissists have such grandiose thinking that they deserve this preferential treatment. That those in more powerful or higher positions ought to choose them for a specific task. That’s why you’ll see many Narcissists hob-nob with the higher ups in a company. My NX would frequently cozy up to his superiors in the military. He’d also find time to play nice with some of the more distinguished military personnel on base. It was his way to ensure he’d climb up that proverbial corporate ladder. Their grandiose thinking, their feelings of superiority. To me, that still didn’t explain WHY Narcissists feel so entitled. Where does this line of thinking even come from?? I had to dig deeper. Many times throughout my life, I’ve discovered that most often those who have this self entitlement and grandiose way of thinking often don’t have a lot of fulfillment in their lives. They don’t have a lot of possessions or money or friends. So these people feel they need to take from others to fill the void in their lives. They may feel that others have more and they have less, so they get to take from those who have more. Narcissists are like that in a way. They are under the assumption that if they see others like you and me happy and thriving in life, that they get to swoop in and take away our happiness just to make themselves feel more powerful. It’s all about power and control with Narcissists. They must have that control over others. Entitlement is emptiness, its ego – it’s the dissatisfaction of never feeling “good enough” and believing “If I can just get more or control people and situations around me then I can feel better.” Naturally it’s a bottomless pit – it’s an addiction. All addictions are about trying to find outer self-medication to take away inner anxiety. Entitlement (wanting more) doesn’t produce lasting good feelings. The more entitlement that is employed, the more it generates the escalating feelings of not being worthy and not being good enough. It’s an unwholesome energy statement and that never generates anything good or lasting for the Inner Being.
Bottom line
Narcissists possess an unrealistic sense of entitlement. They must have this attention. They need to be taken care of before anyone else. If they don’t get what they are after, they will crush anyone who gets in their way. Have you experienced entitlement issues with the Narcissist in your life? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
2 Comments
Kate
7/15/2017 04:41:27 pm
My NX's parents split on him at 9 years old. His sister went with his Mom, and he stayed with his Dad. The dad was too busy with his career for the most part and NX had to deal with stepmom. Stepmom hated him. He hated her. He left home at 16 and lived with friends or his grandparents who treated him like the golden child. He is a horder, has a huge abandonment complex and a lot of deep seated resentment towards his mom and dad. He has to get attention, etc. to feel worthy. And this is why he reacted with so much hate and anger when I refused to be horded, yet left abandoned on the shelf.
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Ann
1/13/2018 03:36:31 pm
I think you are describing also narcisstic traits which many people have. One comes from as you say being deprived and it becomes a ego protector, the other seems to come from over indulged children who are raised to believe they are entitled. These children later adults often do have money, have never had to worry about finances, and have been worshipped to the point they often grow up and turn on those who find them unbearable as they age. They seem lucky, but they are not. Inside they feel they cannot make it on their own and over the years run into conflict with many who are disgusted by there attitude.
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