Narcissists build their whole world around lying. So much of what they tell everyone is a lie. They may remember specific events, but exactly what happened and exactly what was said at these events is greatly embellished. That's the one thing to keep in mind as you move along your healing journey - Narcissists will lie.
And not just a little white lie, either. Abusers will tell tall tales, bordering on complete falsehoods and a total departure from what actually happened. In the beginning, the Narcissists will come across as everything we hoped and dreamed for. They are charming, funny, and our perfect mate. Right? Wrong. These things they tell us are built on a lie because of their hidden agenda. These lies are to ensnare us in their web of deceit. It's to keep us hooked. It all boils down to power and control. Abusers lie because they crave and must possess power and control over their victims. Lies they tell Narcissists will tell us whatever they feel they must in order to gain power and control in a relationship. You may have heard some of these or all of these. You may even have heard some that are not on this list. In no particular order, the following are just some of the lies that Narcissists will tell. 1. I love you. 2. I've never felt this way about anyone before. 3. I'll go to counseling. 4. I promise. 5. I’m sorry. 6. It's your fault. 7. No one else would ever want you. 8. If you leave, I'll kill myself and it'll be your fault. 9. You're so lazy. 10. You can't do anything right. 11. Well, you're not getting it from me so you must be getting it from someone else. 12. I've changed. 13. I never said that. (Or, "You're remembering it wrong.") 14. You're so selfish. 15. You're crazy! You must be off your meds again. How the lies are used Narcissists use the above lies and phrases to gain the upper hand in a relationship. They will pour out these lies to help themselves in some way, whether it’s to avoid accountability (i.e. placing blame on someone else), for material gain, to boost their ego, to avoid embarrassment, or to gain the pity of others (because of them playing the victim). They also use these lies to justify their actions. For example, if they lose their temper, they may say, “Well, if she hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have had to yell.” Abusers will also use these lies to gain our trust and love. Then, they will utter many of these lies to tear us down and make us doubt our confidence, our self-esteem and our self-worth. In fact, these lies will get us to doubt our whole existence. Abusers aim to strip us of all that makes us worthy in hopes of making us feel so low about ourselves that we stay in the relationship, or go back to them if we left. After the relationship is over, many Narcissists will turn on the charm in attempts to win us back. They do so because they don't want to give up the power and control. In fact, many Narcissists will go so far as to tell many of these lies to manipulate the masses into believing that we are the crazy and unstable ones. The Narcissists will tell anyone who they think will listen that we are not who we say we are and that we are actually the abusers! It's truly sick and pathetic how far abusers will go to paint themselves as the victims and us as the abusers. The lies abusers tell couldn't be further from the truth. We know the truth. We know what really happened. Just keep living your truth and heal the way you need to. What are some of your experiences with the Narcissist in your life telling lies? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your story with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.
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