No matter how much you may want to, it is never a good idea to warn the new supply. Below are several reasons why. Read on.
The Narcissist has already more than likely flaunted his new girl in front of you (or if you're like me and don't live anywhere near each other, flaunt through the internet). She's so much fun, she accepts him, she's a "real woman" who doesn't hold him back, she "keeps the beast within him" at bay. And so much more. But you know the real person behind the mask. You want to warn her.
But don't. Just don't.
1. You've likely already been labeled as the "crazy ex." And if you DID warn the NS, you'd be seen as vindictive, crazy, bitter and jealous. She'd see you as obsessed with him, which would likely draw her into him even more.
2. Your NX is still lovebombing her. So he's still wooing her and reeling her in. So if you said anything, she just wouldn't believe you anyway. "Oh but how could that be true? He's so sweet and loving!" Think of it this way.....If someone came up to you and said how much of a Narc he was to your face while you were just starting to date him, would you believe that person? I know I wouldn't have believed it.
Not only would you likely be ridiculed and mocked, but the worst part is that you’d be further invalidated because it’s probable that no one would believe you. You’d inadvertently make yourself appear to be the unstable lunatic your Ex is telling everyone you are.
3. By warning the NS, you are staying wrapped up in the Narc's twisted dramatic game. Stay out of it. Go no contact if you can. Concentrate on your healing and recovery.
Trust me. I know the feeling all too well of wanting to warn the new supply. You are a good person. You want to genuinely help. You are an empath, and that's what empaths do.
But the new supply needs to have that epiphany about the Narc just like you did. She needs to see for herself what he truly is. Give it time. I promise you, he WILL let the mask slip and she will begin to see for herself.
So if SHE contacts YOU, then by all means, give her comfort and listen to her.
But until that happens (IF that happens), there isn't anything you can (or should) do. But time is against the Narcissist on this one - he WILL end up letting the mask slip because he can't keep up with the illusion of the lies he created.
Have you had experience with wanting to warn a new supply? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.