They say you're not supposed to live with regrets. Who are "they"? What do they know? They don't know the abuse we suffered. They don't know anything about what we went through.
So many times, I've caught myself saying, "Well, if I only knew then what I know now." If I knew he was a Narcissist. If I knew he was emotionally and physically abusive. If I knew he was financially and sexually abusive.
In the beginning just after my discard, I regretted having ever met my NX. I thought that so many times! Hindsight is always 20/20, I thought.
But, do you want to know something? Even after ALL that I've been through, I do NOT regret my relationship with my narcissistic ex.
1. My children. I wouldn't have my beautiful, sweet, wonderful and amazing children. I wouldn't have a 10 year old daughter who looks like me, has my mannerisms, my personality. I wouldn't have a 7 year old son who is silly, funny and has such a good heart.
2. My home-state. If I never got involved with my NX, I would still likely be living in my home-state. I would likely still be an emergency medical technician. I would likely be even living with my mom.
3. My now-husband. My experiences led me on such an interesting path. It led me to re-connect with someone I met when I was 13. This connection led to rekindling the friendship, which eventually led to a romantic relationship.
Many times, I have realized how grateful I am. I am grateful because the NX discarded me. As traumatic as it was, the discard allowed me the chance to get myself into proper therapy. It allowed me to live my life the way I saw fit. It allowed me the opportunity to move back near my family to get the support I needed at the time.
I don't regret my relationship with him because it also gave me the opportunity to view life through different glasses. Before him, I always thought the best of everyone. I had no reason to think ill of another. Because of my relationship with my narcissistic ex, I learned how to deal with and handle difficult people and tough situations. I learned what I will and will not tolerate in my life and in any relationship.
"Our lives would be easier if we hadn't met them. But many of us would not have our children. But, kids or not, our experiences with the narc shaped us into being the people we were meant to be. We learned things about ourselves and about others. We met people we never would have met. We experienced things we wouldn't have experienced. So, it's more than just the hurt they inflicted on us, it's the big picture and how much we've learned." - A Friend
Well said, my friend. Well said.
Do you have regrets? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
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Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
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Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.