Narcissists hide in plain sight. So how can you keep an eye out for them if you don’t know where they are and how to spot them? Below are several tips on how you can spot them more easily.
1. They overinflate themselves
Narcissists put too much value on themselves. They pretend to be more accomplished, smarter, stronger. They will claim things to have done things that they didn’t. If you don’t praise them for their self-perceived accolades, they will let you know. They will become bitter and begin to devalue you. So if you find yourself dealing with someone who brags consistently about themselves and their supposed accomplishments, chances are you’re dealing with a Narcissist.
2. They turn conversations back onto themselves
It doesn’t matter what you are talking about, Narcissists will always find a way to make it all about them. My NX was a master at this. One of the first things to come to mind was the time I had just had major surgery. I was lying in a hospital bed, in pain but recouperating. My then-10-month old daughter sitting on the bed at my feet. My NX was standing at the foot of the bed. The conversation was about how I was feeling. But somehow, the topic of how he thought I should start learning how to shoot a gun came up. Um….huh?? I said that it wasn’t the time nor the place to have that discussion, and he stormed out of the room in a huff.
3. They have a lot of friends on social media
These aren’t real friends. They are just for appearances sake. Narcissists accumulate these friends to show how well they are liked. And if you’ll notice, not many of these friends will actually dare to disagree with the Narcissist publicly. If they do, the Narcissist will have no qualms about calling them out on it and include a few putdowns in the process.
4. They hate criticism
I mean, they really hate criticism. Hearing any kind of judgmental remark is like an attack on their good name. They don’t want their fake persona to show, so any critical comment results in an injury to their fragile narcissistic state of mind. They think of themselves as perfect, all-knowing, and superior to all they know. So when critical remarks are tossed their way, they take as an injury to their perceived perfection.
5. Their past is a mess
Narcissists seem to leave a trail of destruction behind them. If you find that your new love interest seems to have a lot of exes (and demeans them!), chances are you’re dealing with a Narcissist.
6. They love flattery
With Narcissists, it is very true that flattery will get you everywhere. If you have to deal with a Narcissist, just flatter the person to avoid conflict. Paying them a complement will further boost their already inflated ego. So if you find yourself complimenting someone often and them “eating it up,” chances are you’re dealing with a Narcissist. (Because chances are, if you don't flatter them or pay them any kind of complement, you will become a target yourself.)
7. They take everything personally
Narcissists have that absolute theory – you are either for them or against them. There’s no in between. So if you think you’re doing something for them, they will see it in the opposite light. They will go on the defensive and react with the typical Narcissistic Rage. So if you witness someone taking something way out of proportion and becoming very angry, chances are you’re dealing with a Narcissist.
8. They seem to frequently name drop
Narcissists name drop any chance that they get. They will weave the names of important people that they supposedly know into their conversations. My NX was in the military, so whenever he spoke (whether it be to just me, a group of “buddies” or someone on the phone), he’d mention the name of some higher ranking officer as if he knew the person. So if you are in a conversation with someone and they begin to bring up the names of famous people or name brand items, chances are you’re dealing with a Narcissist.
Do you have any other tips? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.