Toxic individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are not easy people to deal with on a daily basis. In fact, they are downright difficult. So how can you deal with someone with BPD without compromising your own self-esteem and awareness? Below are several tips on how.
Putting these tips into practice will depend on the frequency in which you deal with the toxic individual. The person could be your parent, sibling, or romantic partner. These tips work just as well with any toxic individual, not just Narcissists. (These tips are also in no particular order.)
1. Acknowledge I think the most important tip of all is this one. You need to consistently acknowledge that you are indeed smart, lovable, capable, determined, creative. You need to remind yourself of these things on a daily basis. Even every hour if you have to. 2. Acceptance It’s important to remember that you cannot change the Narcissist. Ever. It’s something you need to accept. Once you can begin to accept this, you can move forward slightly in your healing journey. Acceptance of who and what the Narcissist is will allow you to objectively view the person as toxic to your soul. 3. Disengage If the toxic individual is your spouse, it’ll be more difficult to just get up and walk away. You need to learn strategic disengagement. It’s a skill that helps you to know when to take a step back from a particular situation. That allows you to emotionally regroup. Many times though, the Narcissist will force a confrontation with you. At that point, you’ll have no choice but to engage. This is when the term “gray rock” comes in handy. It’s just emotionless responses to what the Narcissist says. You wouldn’t be giving the Narcissist any reason to nit-pick or continue the confrontation. Soon enough, the Narcissist will be bored with you because he or she isn’t getting the desired response from you. Narcissists are energy suckers. They strive to drain you of your energy and your joie de vivre (joy of life). They are high conflict individuals who leave you in such an energy deficit. “The sad fact is that living in an energy deficit can become such a normal state that we no longer know what it feels like to thrive.”
4. Share
One of the best ways in dealing with someone with a personality disorder, like a Narcissist, is to share your experiences. Sometimes, all we need is a bit of validation, since that is one thing the Narcissist deprives us of. Find an online community, or a local support group, that can really hear you. I mean, really hear you. They will know exactly what you are going through. When I found several Facebook communities all surrounding Narcissists and healing from Narcissistic Abuse, I felt an odd sense of belonging. I didn’t even personally know any of the community members, but somehow, we became family through our shared experiences. 5. Block If you are no longer with the disordered individual, this tip may be a little easier for you. Well, I hope it would be, anyway. Just block the person on all forms of social media, block the person’s email address and phone number. Bottom line Above all, you need to keep in mind that Narcissists will do what it takes to draw you in to debates, to bring you down and to tear apart your self-esteem, your confidence and your spirit. They will stop at nothing to point fingers and say you’re the crazy and unstable one. The most important thing for you to remember the above tips will help you deal with the person more calmly and effectively. Have you used any of these tips? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
2 Comments
kaisha
3/4/2017 03:37:56 pm
Excellent tips! some other things that have worked for me is doing Falun Gong, the highest form of Qi Gong there is, along with Hatha Yoga and Tibetan Yoga. You can check out Falun Gong at www.falundafa.org and there is a DVD that shows the exercises (5 easy exercises) at ama zon dot com, from Tianti Books. It is taught for free, check out who is teaching in your area at the web site. Do not try to combine it with other forms of Qi Gong, but you can do it with Hatha Yoga and Tibetan Yoga. A book called The Five Tibetans can also be got cheap on ama zon dot com. the thing to keep in mind is to do these every day; it will help with the healing immensely. Thank you so much for writing this blog!
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Jenn
3/8/2017 06:37:22 am
Kaisha.......Cool, thanks for letting myself and my readers know about this Falon Gong.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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