Narcissistic Abuse is extremely traumatic for survivors. An emotional warzone, if you will. That's why, more often than not, survivors are diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
PTSD as a result of Narcissistic Abuse can be quite debilitating to survivors. So much so, that it can consume a survivor's life.
What is PTSD? PTSD is a mental health disorder that can happen to anyone brought on by a severe event, like war, disaster or trauma. The person can experience it firsthand or witness it. I learned that for PTSD to be diagnosed, symptoms must last for one month and cause significant distress or greatly interfere with a person's daily activities. The ONLY therapist of mine to acknowledge my symptoms and properly diagnose me with PTSD was the therapist I saw in the city where I currently live. (Because of my emotional trauma, she made good use of EMDR therapy. Read my post EMDR: How It Helped Me for more information.) PTSD Symptoms Before I could be properly diagnosed, my therapist wanted to know my symptoms. PTSD symptoms fall into 3 categories - re-experiencing symptoms, avoidance and numbing symptoms, and arousal symptoms. 1. Re-experiencing: This is the symptom that I suffered from the most. I kept reliving the trauma over and over and over. I spoke of the most disturbing memory I had in my EMDR post (see the link above). Every time I closed my eyes to fall asleep, I would inevitably place myself right back into that hotel room that night. I would become startled and sit straight up in bed with my heart pounding. I felt such fear and terror each time. 2. Avoidance and numbing: This occurred with me often as well. I would avoid high conflict situations. I had incredibly poor conflict resolution skills and always avoided confrontations. I didn't want to upset anyone and create fights! I avoided anything or anyone that remotely gave me any reminders of the trauma that I experienced. I also trained myself to become numb to certain emotions or situations so that I didn't have to deal with them. 3. Arousal: This symptom includes such a heightened sense of awareness and it's sometimes referred to as "hyper-vigilance." Survivors can often become angered and irritable more easily. I found myself snapping at friends and family more quickly. I also had extreme difficulty sleeping, too - I kept reliving many of the Narc Rages that my NX unleashed. (Read my post on The Narcissistic Rage for more information.) Other Issues Survivors can also experience other conditions in conjunction with PTSD, including depression, anxiety, or substance abuse. I had been previously diagnosed with depression and anxiety. But no one seemed to sit up and take notice that it was partly because of my PTSD and the abuse I endured! Many survivors can also have many problems functioning in daily life because of PTSD. So much so, that they can be fired from a job, struggle with interpersonal relationships with family and friends, as well as increased incidents of violence. I became scared of myself, actually, because I had become increasingly prone to anger outbursts. I thought I was becoming a violent person! Have you been diagnosed with PTSD as a result of Narcissistic Abuse? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
6 Comments
Eden
4/5/2017 05:51:46 pm
18 year marriage, 4 sons later. Divorced 6-16. Restraining order until 2019. The children and I have been no contact from him since 1-16. I was abused on every spectrum, and my son's watched their father abuse me on some occasions. I have ptsd, complex ptsd, severe anxiety, panic attacks and depression associated with the abuse. I was told by him that "im just a hole", "I'm only a mother, nothing else. A loser". I reply words, fights, the time he choked me while my then 12 year old son had to come help me. Over and over and over.
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Jenn
4/5/2017 07:55:42 pm
Eden.......I am so sorry for what you endured. And to know your children witnessed it on many occasions is heartbreaking indeed. There's a great book by Lundy Bancroft called When Dad Hurts Mom. The link is in the tab called "Books" at the top of this page. In fact, there's a lot of great books in that list. All of which I recommend. Healing will take time. Be gentle with yourself while you travel down the healing path. Take care. And if you haven't already, come over to my Facebook page of this same name.....just click on the F icon at the top of this page. Hang in there.
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Tresa Germain
9/21/2017 10:28:53 am
I am putting a plan for "escaping" I need to find a therapist that has experience in narcissistic abuse.Im having trouble finding someone that gets it. I FEEL like anyone I've shared any of my story with has an attitude like I feel they spoke to him first. Is this just ME? I would greatly appreciate any advice....thanks in advance..tresa
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Rabbithole
12/10/2017 11:41:28 pm
I wondered what was wrong with me after the first discard. I thought maybe I was actually the crazy, overreative loon he said I was. My temper was short. I couldn't rest. I felt tired, yet full of that urge to run away. From everything. I didn't trust myself to make decisions. Had intense flashbacks. Even some colors would trigger a memory of what I didn't know was narcissistic abuse at the time. I became sensitive to criticism at work. Afraid of phone notifications. A call, text, or email made me so anxious that I avoided them. I avoided places, situations that reminded me of him. I lost so much weight, so much hair. Nightmares. Jumping up from my sleep. Tears or anger whenever I feel pain from the physical injuries he inflicted that haven't quite healed. I'm so quiet now. I'm not the easy, outspoken, curious person I used to be. Literal fragments of hurtful things he's said or Revelations of untruths jump to the forefront of my mind, making the practice of mindfulness a hurculean effort. He came back 4 times. Maybe 5 before I realized the pattern. And all that I've mentioned worsened with each discard. I guess this is C-PTSD, in a sense. He took a girl who was still a dreamer at 37, and turned her into a hopeless robot by time she hit 38. On top of this is self-blame. And self-hatred for my lack of boundaries and allowing him to crush my self-esteem. I thought it was love. Only, each time... loving him became different, as I didn't like him as much. Yet, he conditioned me to want him to like me. My soul... It's muted. And I don't want to be a victim. I don't want to identify with the term. Survivor, sure. I guess that's what I am. That feels like an inflated characterization after knowing I let him back in so many times. Things made sense. Once. And I was smart. I don't know who I am anymore. I loved who I was. Apparently not enough.
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CareBear
4/5/2019 02:32:33 pm
I saw a Psychiatrist for the first time in 19 years and came away with a PTSD diagnosis after a particularly abusive childhood with a narcissistic mother who, even after 60 years, I am still afraid of and can reach out her claws and wing me from 1200 miles away. So Now what do I do. My husband has PTSD from Granada and now that we have the same diagnosis, what will we do? Will we end up devouring eachother like hungry snakes or will we just cancel eachother out. I don't want to dig all this up again...I don't want to remember. but suddenly everything...ever minor little detail is coming to the surface and coming hard and fast. Now what? How can I move on? I hope...and this is really bad...but all I can hope for is Alzheimer's and I can forget who she is and her face and what she did to me. It's my only hope.
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Saliyat
2/9/2020 01:11:00 pm
I wished somebody talks about why we attract Narcissistic people because for me it started from the family of origin.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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