Often times, we ask ourselves "Am I a Narcissist?" We look within for answers because the other person (the real Narc) points fingers telling us we are selfish, narcissistic jerks.
Granted, we all exhibit narcissistic tendencies from time to time.
Please know, that you are not a Narcissist. If you have to ask yourself that question, you certainly are not a Narc. Here's why. 1. Narcissists do not look within. To do so, would require accepting they have faults. They need to put on a front that shows how perfect they are.....that they are the most successful, the most attractive, the most intelligent. Narcissists don't admit to their shortcomings nor do they suggest areas of their life to truly improve upon. They think themselves to be perfect, so why improve upon that? 2. Narcissists don't ever show vulnerability. Showing vulnerability means the possibility of exposing any weaknesses. Narcs can't ever admit that they have weaknesses. In a healthy relationship, showing vulnerability means being open and honest about your needs, desires, and dreams. It's a way for couples to feel needed and appreciated. But Narcissists shut themselves out from this form of intimacy. Intimacy is really just another way to say "into me see." Narcs won't ever allow anyone to see into them. Narcs appear to the outside world as superior and all knowing. If they show even a fraction of vulnerability, their whole fake world will crumble. 3. Narcissists act superior. They think they're better than everyone. By asking "Am I a Narc", you are admitting that you have faults and don't have that superiority complex that Narcs have. 4. Conversation hogs. Narcissists like to talk. They talk for the sake of talking. Acting in an all-knowing manner as they make grand gestures with their arms and hands. Narcissists also talk over you. In healthy relationships, people are able to have that give and take in a conversation. They listen to the other person and vice versa. I learned in a communications class that that's called bilateral listening. They are able to really understand both their own needs and those of others. A Narcissist can't do all that. 5. Narcissists feel themselves to be entitled. They must have their every whim catered to when they say so. They feel they deserve special treatment whenever and wherever. Have you questioned yourself if you were a Narcissist? I only included a few reasons why you aren't. This is not an exhaustive list. If you have anything to add, please comment below. And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
1 Comment
Sarah
12/25/2017 03:44:01 am
I have struggled with learning about Narcissism admittedly, because I feel it promotes looking at people through a critical lens which instigates the "judge and you will be judged" philosophy.... As when we look at others and disect their faults we end up looking at ourselves by a similar standard. Its a really difficult task to unravel abuse. Because there are many levels. The gas lighting and other tactics they use, can disguse the abuser and make it seem like an equally toxic relationship. Also due to the devastation and aftermath they can leave behind and the trauma they intentionally induce will appear to those who arrive late in the story that the victim is the unreliable and unstable source as the narc seeks all the power and recognition. Some abuse is consensual and can happen for numerous reasons so its important to understand what I have allowed to happen and what I couldn't of possibly avoided in order to retain my ability to choose healthy choices.
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Like the FFNAEA Facebook page by clicking the icon below!
Welcome
Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
December 2022
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship How I Lost My Identity The Fake Apology Effects of Emotional Abuse Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign Emotionally Abusive Behaviors Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation Emotional Rape Categories
All
Copyright Notice
©2016-2023. Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (in full or in part) without the express written consent of this blog's author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse with a link back to the original content.
Disclaimer
The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.
|