It’s a fact of life. We will age and grow older. We will develop wrinkles. We will begin to forget things. No one likes these things. No one likes to get older. But Narcissists? They absolutely despise aging!
An aging Narcissist is akin to a 4 year old child throwing a temper tantrum. They will not go quietly. They will not accept what happens to them. The forgetting. The wrinkles. They will fight the aging with everything they have.
Somatic Narcissists in particular are quite vain regarding their looks, so they take the aging as a huge insult to their superiority. They think they shouldn’t get older. That they are above all of it. But when they look in the mirror one day, they will not recognize what looks back at them. Their outward appearance has betrayed them. They are supposed to be perfect, after all!
You even see it all the time with celebrities. Face lifts. Tummy tucks. Botox injections. No one wants to age. But aging, my warrior survivor friends, takes every ounce of grace and courage that we can muster.
Because aging is a slow process of changes that our bodies and minds go through. I was always fascinated with science classes in high school and college. I remember learning that our bodies become more frail and our minds will begin to fail us. Our overall health begins to decline.
Narcissists just can’t accept any of that. They can’t accept that they aren’t as “perfect” as they think they are. They can’t muster that grace and courage because they don’t posses those qualities. In fact, they don’t posses any positive qualities at all!
When they look at themselves in the mirror, they just cannot comprehend the fact that they are losing the one thing that they could use to their advantage. Their looks and self-perceived superiority.
It’s no secret that Narcissists do not age well. With their declining health and mental status, they lose the ability to immediate call their charm, intellect or humor to action. This frustrates them to no end! They think, “I used to be so good at this!” Their anger and rage are more easily seen and heard. Why? Because they are raging at themselves for not being (and staying) perfect. So not only will they rage at themselves, but also the nearest target. Many times, that nearest target is you.
I have seen what aging has done to a Narcissist. I consider my XMIL a Somatic Narcissist. (I briefly mention her in my post Narcissists And The Holidays.) Despite her constant primping at the nail salon or the hair salon, she still showed signs of aging. She still got wrinkles. She still felt physical ailments. She’d snap at those around her. Small fights with me or my NX, a harsh word with her own husband, or even a disapproving look on her face when she saw someone else looking better and more youthful.
Narcissists are constantly faced with the downfall of their self-perceived perfection and superiority. The more they deteriorate, the more visibly angry they become. They will lash out at anyone around them as they try to hang on to every shred of their fantasy world. They begin to lose their standing in society. My XMIL began to have several health issues that forced her into retirement. This wasn’t easy for her to accept. Her occupation was part of her identity. Without that, she was faced with the reality that she was nothing.
An aging Narcissist loses the ability to attract supply. They no longer can rely on their good looks or charm to reel in targets. They become obvious in their cruel ways – they demand, yell, bully, intimidate. They outright display their contempt for others. They think they just because they are older, they have the right to be cruel.
What has been your experience with aging Narcissists? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
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The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.