It's no secret that Narcissists must have power and control over their victims. Intimidation is a favorite control tactic that Narcissists frequently use.
What is intimidation by definition?
According to Merriam-Webster, intimidation is defined as "to make timid or fearful. To compel or deter by or as if by threats."
Intimidation is purposely frightening someone into doing what you want. Intimidation isn’t just used by Narcissists. Other people in your life can frighten you without meaning to. But Narcissists intimidate others on purpose. When someone’s behavior causes you to fear for your safety, that is intimidation.
"Most abusive men become physically intimidating at some point. This pattern typically involves some degree of physical violence: punching walls, smashing objects, poking or grabbing you, blocking your path, threatening you, driving in a terrifying way with you in the car. He may also intimidate you in subtler ways, by towering over you during arguments, getting frighteningly loud, turning bright red with rage, or making veiled threats such as, “You’re really pushing me too far,” or “You don’t want to find out what I’m capable of.”
My NX had punched holes in the walls before. He would also use his height to his advantage and stand over me to frighten me. One of his favorite things to do would be to block my way out of a room. He even would raise his voice to such a loud level, that his screaming would become inaudible. He’d turn red in the face! He once screamed that loud directly into my left ear, and I had difficult hearing out of that ear for over a week. (Then he’d turn around and say, “What are you deaf?” when I would ask him to repeat things. Well, if he didn’t scream in my ear, I’d be able to hear him fine!)
Why do Narcissists intimidate?
Narcissists intimidate their victims because it is a control tactic. It is a way for them to maintain power and control over others. As I stated in my post Power and Control, Narcissists need to feel superior over others. They can just give you a menacing look or gesture to instill fear in you.
Narcissists intimidate their victims because many times, they want to deflect attention away from their own abusive behavior. To shine a light on their behavior is like bringing a vampire out into the sunlight. They don’t like it and it will cause them to lash out in pain or anger. Or both.
A Narcissist’s greatest fear is for you to find out the truth. Perhaps you were getting too close to finding out. You began to question him (or her). The Narcissist flies into rage. (Read more about a Narc rage in my post The Narcissistic Rage.) They need to scare you into submission so that you don’t gain strength and leave, and go telling others about your experience. They need you to stay subservient.
Purposely causing someone to feel fear is abusive. Plain and simple. When you begin to understand that it is the Narcissist’s problem and not yours, you can begin to sort through all the abusive tactics the Narcissist throws at you.
How has the Narcissist intimidated you? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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