If it is one thing that survivors need after Narcissistic Abuse, it is the need to feel safe. We hunger for it. We ache to have that feeling. It is a basic human need.
Who doesn't want to be safe? Everyone I've met along the path of my life has this need. A need to feel safe in the neighborhood they live in. A need to feel safe in the car they drive. A need to feel safe in the place they work. But the need to feel safe is ever present in the ones who've experienced trauma of some kind.
Trauma survivors have more of this need not only to feel safe in their environment, but also to have a feeling of safety in the company they keep. In the people they meet and deal with. In the people they date or marry.
So how can you feel safe after Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse?
After an abusive situation, you'll want to isolate yourself and hide away. But hiding isn't the answer. I know it sounds like the easiest way. I've been there. I have felt exactly the same. And if you do isolate yourself for the first few days immediately after the situation, that's okay. But just know, that picking yourself up and learning to feel safe again is vital to your healing.
There are numerous ways to begin to feel safe after Narcissistic Abuse. The following is what helped me. If you have discovered other ways, comment below and share your thoughts. I'd love to learn new ways to facilitate my healing.
1. Talk the talk.
This was the most difficult concept for me. I was ashamed for quite a long time. I learned that the more I opened up and talked about my experience, the more power I held.
A Narcissist wants you to feel shame. That way, you'd never talk about what you endured, and the experience would continue to hold power over you. When you talk about what happened, the more power you take back.
2. Your environment
The environment you are in following your situation plays a big role in your ability to heal and feel safe. When my NX discarded me, I moved to a location that allowed me to be in close proximity to several family members and many friends. Having that closeness of my family helped in those first few months. I was able to let some of my fears go and relax. I felt safe enough to cry in bedroom at night.....I knew I wouldn't be chastised for that.
3. Financial security
For many following an abusive situation, feeling safe again can mean having some financial security. Finding employment is a big step forward for many. This is especially true if your ex did not "let" you work outside the home.
Though my NX did "allow" me to have a job, I nearly had no say in how my earnings were spent. He used the "it's for the kids" routine. So getting a job in my new living situation allowed me the safety of knowing that my earnings would be spent the way it needed to be.
4. Express yourself
Sometimes, you are unable to verbally express to others just what it is that you went through. That's when these following things came in handy for me......keeping a journal, writing poetry and a few songs, doing art projects, and dancing. You can also exercise, take up gardening or pottery, or even go on nature hikes.
All of the above ideas will help you rediscover your strengths and get you on a path to feeling safer after Narcissistic Abuse.
Have you used any of the above ideas? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.