Nothing about the Narcissists is real. This includes love and relationships. They THINK they are in love. They SAY they are in love. They even express it to the whole world through their social media pages that they found "the one" and how happy they are. But this isn't love in the sense of what a healthy, empathic person feels. In fact, Narcissists do not love at all. Ever. This guest post explores why.
They will STATE they do....they may THINK they do....they may even BELIEVE they do.
Just as with all the delusions of the abuser, they have nothing REAL to compare it to.
They believe that what they perceive to be love is EXACTLY what others see as "love"...
They BELIEVE that ANY of us, if in the same situation, would do and feel exactly what they do and feel.
The problem is, in the eyes of the abuser it is IMPOSSIBLE to EVER compare their situation to that of anyone else.
They think we are all just like THEY ARE.
They think we are ALL evil and that others live in the same delusions they do.
They "love" other people as they "love" their new computer....because it is useful, serves a purpose and is their POSSESSION. When that computer ceases to "function correctly" they get angry, throw it on the ground and stomp on it...then they smile, smugly, and go out to obtain a newer one...a BETTER one.
Since this is EXACTLY what they do to the PEOPLE they claim to "love" it appears that the computer and the people hold the same value to the abuser.
HOW could they really love anyone?!
They SAY they love, but they are incapable of "loving" anyone in the way that an empathetic person loves.
If you decide to count the poor substitute of what they do have as love...I suppose they do. IMHO, they have the capacity and the tendency to destroy ANYONE who does NOT see them as perfect and chooses to stand up to them or disagree.
They "love" no one above THEMSELVES and their delusion of superiority and entitlement allows them to self-justify the damages they do to others as "correction", "lessons" and "completely justifiable".
They will destroy the soul of ANYONE who gets in their way or threatens to expose their lies, without a mere MOMENT of thought or refection and by utilizing the most effective threat, no matter how vile.
They will gaslight and mentally abuse ANYONE to the point of near insanity and/or suicide and BELIEVE that they are not at fault or to blame and that the other person DESERVES IT.
They do NOTHING for anyone else unless they have an ulterior motive.
They GIVE NOTHING to ANYONE else without scheming and planning how it will benefit them. If they see NO BENEFIT, they will not give.
The delusion is so STRONG that they can say they love someone while systematically, and purposely, DESTROYING that person.
They will take food from the mouths of the hungry to buy a luxury item for themselves and they will watch those they claim to love do without the basic necessities while proclaiming it to be a "lesson in respect".
They will utterly attack and attempt to destroy people who are weaker (or kinder) including the ill, the handicapped or a child, without a hint of guilt or a second thought....simply because they feel DESERVING of all that they desire...and call those people SELFISH for NOT recognizing their RIGHT to have whatever it is that they want.
The are evil enough to believe that ALL OTHERS are SELFISH for HAVING NEEDS that do not benefit them.
Their "version of love" demand COMPLIANCE and WORSHIP, which they GLEEFULLY elicit with threats and abuse and torture and fear and withholding.
If they are unable to elicit these things they subject those they "love" to torment and every type of abuse...emotional, psychological, physical, spiritual, sexual, financial....which they dole out with a total lack of empathy and a sadistic JOY...replete with a blank, cold-eyed, dead stare and an evil "half-grin" which aptly displays their hatred of those they "love" and the, thinly veiled, threat of UTTER DESTRUCTION.
If threats of PERSONAL RUIN are not SUFFICIENT to control those they "love", they will progress to threats against someone that person LOVE.
Threats to destroy a beloved child, a cherished parent, a well-loved sibling, a dear friend or even a cherished pet....
They find THESE threats to be particularly EFFECTIVE and, in that way, they experience the ULTIMATE HIGH for an abuser...
DESTROYING the "loved one" utilizing their love for SOMEONE ELSE.
They manipulate and kill their "loved ones" with the very LOVE they envy and are incapable of feeling.
The ABUSER KNOWS it exists, however, and they do not HESITATE to utilize it to force the "respect" of a "wayward loved one".
OF COURSE...this is ENTIRELY "for the well-being" of those being "TAUGHT THE LESSON"
Indeed...the abuser was fairly FORCED into these acts by the disobedience of the "loved one" who refuses to listen to reason and play their assigned part in the "play",
Since this includes parents, siblings and, even their own, CHILDREN...IMHO, they do not "love" them.
They simply have no love left over to give once they love the only person who counts...
the ONLY REAL PERSON…
**Reprinted with permission from Soulmates in Hell. Originally published on September 18, 2015.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
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How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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