Narcissists love to employ the use of the bait and switch. It's one of their favorite tactics, actually, because this is the easiest way they can play the victim.
My NX loved to play this game. He'd say or do something to trigger me, then watch me take the bait. He'd do this in both private and in pubic. He'd deliberately taunt me to the point where I would crack. I would frequently become crazed or frenzied. Then he'd turn around and point out that I was the crazy one!
If the victim takes this bait, the Narcissist would then strut around as the victor. It's as if he won some kind of prize. And the victim is left feeling both psychologically and emotionally raked through the coals. It always left me feeling invalidated and alone.
My NX would inevitably "run" to his "friends" and blame me for my outburst, claiming to them that he was the victim. That is the switch! Narcissists provoke their victims into a fight, then when the victim takes the bait, the Narcs would pull a switcheroo and cry that they are ones who are being abused. It's a sick and twisted game, really.
So how can you learn NOT to take the Narc's bait? Below are 4 things that I've taken into practice to help me.
1. Taught myself to stay calm. Easier said than done, I know. But hear me out. There are opportunities everywhere you look in your every day life that can help "train" you to stay calm with the Narc in your life. A long line at the foodstore. Sitting in traffic. Things like that.
2. Meditation. Taking deep breaths at different points during your day. I have a desk job, so it's easier for me to close my eyes for a moment or two, and take a few deep breaths. Even at night when I'm in bed, I create a focal point and just breathe for a few minutes, trying to clear my mind of all other things, except for that focal point.
3. Vent out my feelings to my mom or a few close friends. By doing this, I can avoid reacting to anything my NX says or does.
4. Journaling. I've used the journaling method as another outlet to vent my frustrations regarding my NX. It's just another way to let go of the pent up anger towards him. By doing this, I'm not letting all of that fester inside and risk releasing it at him.
If you can think of any other ways that help you, comment below! And as always, I appreciate you sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.