Abuse isn’t love. You don’t go around destroying people you claim to love. It’s that simple. But sometimes, it’s hard for victims to understand the severity of that first sentence. Even survivors have a hard time grasping the deep meaning of it, especially when they are fresh out of the situation.
According to Merriam-Webster, there are two definitions that apply to narcissistic and emotional abuse. To abuse is to either “to use so as to injure or damage” and “to attack in words.”
That is the complexity in emotional abuse. Abusers can inflict injury and damage upon their victims by attacking them with words. Many times, it’s also with a fist. Other forms of abuse include psychological, spiritual, sexual and financial.
What love isn’t
Love isn’t humiliating someone. Love isn’t putting someone down. Love isn’t tearing down someone’s hopes, dreams, self-esteem, self-worth and confidence. Love isn’t hitting someone. Love isn’t messing with their reality by playing mind games. Love isn’t blaming someone for what goes wrong.
Love also isn’t intimidating another. Love isn’t using threats to get what is desired. Love isn’t isolating a person from family and friends. Love isn’t minimizing and trivializing. Love isn’t using children as pawns in a sick game.
What love is
Love is respecting someone. Love is lifting another up when he or she feels down. Love is encouraging another’s hopes and dreams. Love is earnestly listening to what another has to say. Love is taking responsibility for your actions. Love is working together for a common goal. Love is being a team.
Why do Narcissists abuse us then?
Many times, they know exactly what they are doing. They crave power and control over people. They feel mighty when they tear down another’s sense of self. They abuse us because it’s how they can fulfill their ultimate plan – to feel superior to another. To not put too fine of a point on it, they are control freaks. They abuse us because that’s how they can remain “powerful” in the eyes of their “fans” and “friends.” They abuse us because they feel entitled to all the attention and adulation of others. They abuse because they feel we don’t deserve anyone else’s love but theirs. They abuse because they get sick enjoyment out of seeing us fall apart.
Narcissists don’t see anything wrong in their actions. They abuse because they can. They will never change.
What are your thoughts? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.