Whether you've been away from the Narcissist for a month or a year (or more), you're likely to stumble a bit down your path of healing and recovery. Why is recovery so hard? Read on.
The below list of reasons is why recovery has been so hard for me. Do any of these look familiar?
1. He had me fooled. He played the part of the perfect mate and led me right down the primrose path. He was very adept to crafting perfection....that he could give me all that I ever wanted, that he never felt that way about anyone before, that we had so much in common. But it was all a ruse. (Read my post on Mirroring for more info.)
2. He got inside my head. All the disparaging remarks, put downs, and criticisms led me to doubt myself and my abilities. He stripped me of my self-confidence. I find myself still thinking, "What am I doing? I can't do this." That's HIM talking! That's him still getting inside my thoughts, causing me to doubt.
3. I felt so unlovable. This kind of relates to the above reason. The NX conditioned me to believe that no one would ever love me, that I was a worthless piece of trash that no one would want. I became so depressed because I felt so unlovable. I didn't think I was worthy to ever gain the love of another. He had made me feel like I was damaged goods.
4. The flashbacks. Quite often, I had flashbacks to the abuse and what I endured. (See my post on PTSD As A Result of Narcissistic Abuse.) The flashbacks began crippling my life.
5. I don't view things the same. Before the NX, I was such a trusting person. I never thought a person could be capable of such hatred and destruction. Now, I question people's motives and intentions, and I don't have the same naivetė that I used to.
6. I will never have closure. That's the thing with Narcissistic Abuse that I learned. When normal relationships end, there is closure, a reason why it ended. Not with Narcs. Many times, you are left wondering what went wrong. I know I wasted so much time racking my brains about what I did or didn't do. And that's the thing......Narcs wants to lead us to believe that WE are the cause, that WE are what's wrong.
7. Difficulty in getting help. Or, more aptly put, difficulty in finding a therapist well-versed in Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse. I had been to several therapists who knew I had been emotionally and physically abused, but didn't recognize the signs of the Narcissistic Abuse that I endured. It wasn't until March 2012 that I found a therapist who could help me.
Narcissistic abuse recovery is hard. But with time and patience, you will get on the right path towards healing.
What part of healing and recovery has been hard for you? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you!
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship
The Fake Apology
How I Lost My Identity
Effects of Emotional Abuse
Emotionally Abusive Behaviors
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings
Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign
Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do
An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation
The Great Manipulator
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The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.