Trust is essential to the success of any kind of relationship – between significant others, between parent and child, between friends. No matter the type of relationship, one thing stands clear. Trust is earned, not given.
We can’t go around freely giving out trust. Why? Because it’s a fundamental foundation for which we put our faith in someone. We trust a friend to keep a secret. We trust a significant other not to play with our heart. We trust our parents will provide for us.
But what if that trust is broken? When trust is broken, when that firm belief we hold in another is betrayed, we look at that person differently. We don’t believe in that person as easily. We don’t have faith that the relationship can be restored. In terms of a Narcissistic relationship, when the Narcissist breaks the trust, that relationship is never the same. We see them for what they are. That assurance we felt in the beginning is gone. That truth we held so tightly to is shattered. Our “true love” was a lie. Our parent turns out to be the Narcissist. Our best friend fits the characteristics. What we were led to believe has now changed. The profound effect this will have on us will change the course of our success, our mere survival and our well-being. When we lose trust in someone, that bond we had is broken. Many times, it cannot be repaired. I have always believed that trust is the main foundation for all relationships. If you don’t have trust, nothing else matters. You need to have that belief in someone to move forward in the relationship. You trust a significant other with your heart, right? You enter into the relationship with high hopes. You believe that you will be given their best, just as you would give them your best. But what if that person is a Narcissist and that “best” is all a lie? Your world will shatter. There’s no trust. There’s no communication. There’s no respect. There’s no fun, no integrity. No honesty. No responsibility for your actions. No kindness. No nothing. Narcissistic parents, for example, will assume that you will give them automatic trust just because they are your parent. Nope. Trust is earned, not given. If they can’t respect you, why do you feel obligated to respect and trust them? Narcissists never keep their promises. They never respect us. They sure don’t communicate with us. They are never honest. They completely lack all basic morals and values. But yet they expect us to trust them? No way! So what can you do? Just keep on doing what you’re doing. Just because the Narcissists disrespect us, doesn’t give us the green light to go ahead and treat them just like they treat us. My grandmother always taught me the Golden Rule, which states, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Now, that doesn’t mean we need to be doormats either. We can still stand up for ourselves. We can still employ the use of Grey Rock. We can still go No Contact. What are your thoughts regarding trust? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
2 Comments
kate
6/11/2017 12:47:36 pm
It took a friend's comment about his own marriage that hit me like a brick in the head. "My wife is a very jealous woman." He said to me. And something in me snapped. "But isn't that integral in a marriage? Isn't your other half the one that you are supposed to love and trust the most?" I replied to him. "My husband has been accusing me of having affairs which I never did." I had been spending the last years of our marriage busy trying to defend myself against accusations that had no basis in reality. My stating this fact out loud shattered some kind of mental barrier within myself and I finally had to accept that without trust, there is no love, no relationship, and I no longer could ignore that my marriage was over.
Reply
Julianna
7/1/2017 09:06:27 am
Kate........You are correct in that trust in the foundation for all relationships. Whether it be in a relationship with a significant other, friend, coworker, parent, child.......if there is no trust there, you've got nothing. And you don't need to wonder about their relationship.......toxic people like Narcs can never keep up the facade indefinitely. The true colors will show soon enough. Go about your healing journey and live your life in peace and strength. Have you stopped over at my Facebook community with the same name? Just click the F icon at the top of the page. I hope you have a peaceful weekend.
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Like the FFNAEA Facebook page by clicking the icon below!
Welcome
Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
December 2022
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship How I Lost My Identity The Fake Apology Effects of Emotional Abuse Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign Emotionally Abusive Behaviors Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation Emotional Rape Categories
All
Copyright Notice
©2016-2023. Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (in full or in part) without the express written consent of this blog's author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse with a link back to the original content.
Disclaimer
The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.
|