When we are in a Narcissistic relationship, we are not aware of the constant state of stress that our bodies are in. We also are not aware of what that constant state of stress does to our bodies. Narcissists will leave you feeling utterly exhausted.
Narcissists work overtime in trying to break you. They want that power and control over you. They utilize every method necessary to achieve their goal. To destroy your soul. You work equally as hard to keep up with pleasing them. You are constantly on alert.
Then, when the discard occurs or you find the strength to walk away, you are left completely drained. This, my friends, is why you’re so exhausted. Why you’re so exhausted Your constant state of hypervigilance keeps your entire system going on high. You walk on eggshells all the time. Your emotions are on heightened alert. And so is your body. You are in a constant fight-or-flight state. Then, when the Narcissist discards you or you find the strength to walk away, you come crashing down. The entire time you were on a heightened alert, your body and your emotions were working overtime. Your adrenal glands begin to suffer. “This forces your adrenal glands to pump out cortisol at high levels. Not only does this often cause an unsightly pudge over time, it also causes your adrenal glands to go into overload to the point that they simply can’t keep up any more. When this happens, your ability to tolerate stress is severely lowered. This causes you to experience fatigue and exhaustion, which are enhanced by the inability to sleep through the night.”
What you can do to heal
The at-home measure you can take to begin healing is meditation. There are a lot of guided meditations out there. They help you focus a bit more if you are unfamiliar with the process. I have always loved the sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shoreline. I have found some great Youtube videos with just the sound of the waves. Close your eyes and let the sound ease your tension away. If you find that you need medical intervention to help your body heal, talk with your doctor. A doctor will be able to guide you towards what is right for you. Bottom line Narcissists want to break you. They keep you on your toes all the time because that way, your defenses will be down, sort to speak. You won’t have the will to stand up to them. They keep you “running ragged” to drain you emotionally and physically. Have you felt completely drained and exhausted from being in a narcissistic relationship? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
24 Comments
Diana
3/6/2017 06:15:34 pm
After 15 years I finally left. I left in December right before Christmas, God gave me his hand and I held in tight. I now live alone and stuff feel like him in my head. The words the accusations I can't get it out of my head.. but I will say I am totally drained from everything. My friends are like come on let's go do something let's have fun and I'm just like I just want to sit in peace and quiet and get to know myself
Reply
Liza
3/6/2017 06:26:33 pm
I know exactly how you feel, I left the day after Thanksgiving. Totally drained, and although we no longer live together he still contacts me daily needing something. We have a child, and had a business, and he suffers from a learning disability so he's always screwing up something, money usually. I try to stay strong and tell him No, I can't help you anymore. Then I'm being a b**ch. It seems so simple to just be able to tell someone no but when you've been there only life line for 17 years. I feel sorry for him then the minute I answer the phone or let him come by I immediately regret it. I hope to get over the tiredness so I can find a life again.
Reply
Jenn
3/8/2017 06:22:31 am
Liza......Good for you for finding the strength to leave too. Since you have a child with the ex, I would suggest employing the use of Minimal Contact.....keep your discussions to JUST the child, and keep those discussions to ONLY email. That way, you are keeping a record of what is said. Block him on all other forms of communication......phone, all social media, etc. If he strays in the email to other topics, you can choose not to respond to those parts. It will take a while to re-learn how to respond to a Narcissist. It's taken me lots of practice. I have 2 children with my ex. You have every right to begin taking care of yourself. So whatever the Narc says, it is just to get you riled up and to come undone. Narcs want us to come unglued so they can point the finger and say we are the unstable ones. Your tiredness will begin to subside little by little. Healing does take time. But you need to give yourself that time. I get it though....you just want to be healed. I hear ya. In the meantime, find things that bring you peace and joy.....maybe learn a new craft or listen to empowering music. If you haven't already, come on over to my Facebook page of this same name.....just click the "F" icon at the top of this page. Hang in there.
Christina
10/5/2018 06:27:37 pm
You have to go no contact. Only deal with him if it's got something to do with the child.
Jenn
3/8/2017 06:16:38 am
Diana........First, good for you for finding the strength to leave. It is absolutely natural to feel drained and to have the need to want to be alone. Getting to know yourself again is essential. I hope your friends understand. But I'm sure they mean well too. Try getting back out there and doing maybe one thing per week to help with "getting back out there." You know? Did you have any hobbies? Maybe pick up something new. Learning something new can be fun and exciting. Good luck to you. Hang in there. And if you haven't already, come on over to my Facebook page of this same name......just click the "F" icon at the top of this page.
Reply
Patricia Garvey
9/30/2017 03:53:07 am
Yes they constantly bagger you until you take the least path of resistance because you are stressed by them. The exhaustion of putting up with their never ending criticism is beyond describing. They will continue until they get what they want then start on something else. It is always at the expense of the victim as they are so selfish they just can't give of themselves, probably because they have no self. No Contact is the best way to go.
Reply
Shana Wilson
11/9/2018 12:12:37 am
I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for 28 years and he has PTSD plus he’s an alcoholic 🤦♀️. His entire family is a great example from the golden child to the escape goat child of a narcissistic parent . Their mother was narcissistic and all of the siblings are too . It took me 21 years to realize what the heck was going on and one day I started google stuff because I have a medical back ground because I was like , now it’s nothing I do or doing is helping . If anything it’s like pouring fuel over fire . I’ve seen the entire sibling family go through relationships and bad marriages simple because of their behavior .ive even seen a wife go down a destructive path and basically went off the deep end , became addictive to pills and finally died . I’m ready to leave!! I am so tired of keeping my head above water . All my kids are adults now and I’ve put all 3 through college . I’ve had enough!!! The older he gets the worse he gets . They don’t change or get better no matter what you do .
Reply
Lupe
9/10/2019 03:47:55 am
I am still in the abusive relationship. I am so drained. I know exactly what you mean. I always say it. Once I leave.. I will never want to be in another relationship. This is my second marriage. After my first marriage. I stayed single for 5 years. I was afraid of getting in the same mess, I was in. Well, guess what? I did.. This one is 20 times worse. 8 years later and I can't wait till I get the nerve to leave.
Reply
Teri
1/16/2020 01:52:29 pm
Hi Lupe...I hope you've found the strength to leave and heal...I left my ex Narc 3 yrs ago after a traumatic pregnancy...our child has autism and before this diagnosis he was jealous of the attention I gave our newborn... thank God I had the wherewithal to leave for my baby sake... I hate that I still love and miss him... I have given up on finding love as I never want to be chipped away and broken again...Bless you!
Remember Who You Are, Your Beautiful Self
6/26/2020 01:23:33 pm
LEAVE!!!
Healing Haven Sanctuary
6/26/2020 01:50:35 pm
You will constantly second guess your decision to leave. Narcissist's condition you to feel like you are making the wrong choice and that you are simply misunderstanding them and that their real intentions are good and what's best. Don't deceive yourself!
Reply
Abbigail
3/6/2017 09:23:31 pm
This has been happening to me going on 8 yrs now and the abuse only became noticeable within this last yeat and more so in the last 5-6 mo. The physical part is definitely taking a tole on my health. I have had at least 4-5 mini strokes not good at age 42. I have verbally, in writing, and actually got him to kick me out of the house to leave & move on & i keep getting hooked by him. Its unbelievable the amount manipulation that goes on daily that I never was aware of prior not to mention he of course doesnt think he has any issues when his own mother knows he does and is doing this. Im hoping to gain some much needed skills that I have never had (being a survivor of abuse,neglect my entire life) to be able to move on soon. Wish me luck in Oregon
Reply
Jenn
3/8/2017 06:27:02 am
Abbigail........I am so sorry that you are enduring this. Abuse in any form can take such a toll on a person. Do you have a women's crisis center near you? Finding one will certainly aid in your healing. It did amazing wonders for me. They can also have many more resources for you too, like help with food stamps or women's shelters to live should you not have any place to go when you leave the abusive person. Are you currently in therapy? Perhaps finding a therapist well versed in narcissistic and emotional abuse can assist you. I wish you all the best. If you haven't already, come on over to my Facebook page of this same name.....just click on the "F" icon at the top of this page. I post informative info and articles to help readers. Hang in there.
Reply
Throughout the 22 months 18 months of love bombing, acute love bombing for the first 12, then she started to pepper in the devaluation, and even during the first 12 she'd subject me to silent treatment, but at the end, she got my stress b and cortisol to critical, now I have just a few more tests, while never being sick in my life, I have crippling edema in my feet, ankles, hands, forearms, sometimes my abdomen, and it goes all the up my calves now, and walking is like thousands of knives shooting up through the soles of my feet.
Reply
Jenn
3/29/2017 06:50:47 pm
Paul.....I am sorry you are experiencing so much physical pain due to all that you've endured. And yes, you are correct in that Narcissists frequently obtain jobs in the "helping" field (like medical professionals, counselors, etc) because of the unlimited source of supply that comes with it. My ex was in the medical field, so right there is a built in source of supply....he'd say things like "Well, that's what the doc said. But here's how it really is." Ugh, such know it alls!
Reply
Kim
12/22/2017 10:42:26 am
I was with a malignant narcisist for almost a year. He was also a pathological liar and gambler. He also took testosterone injections which raged him even more. I did everything for him, cooked his meals or paid for all meals, worked him out everyday, as I am a personal trainer,helped his daughter while she came to stay there. He is now without his children ages 17 and 14 due to his manipulative ways they couldn’t take it anymore they are back with their mom. I’m in therapy and getting stronger everyday but the psychological damage is overwhelming and he keeps trying to mess with me in different ways. I’m working really hard and focusing on my children and me. One day at a time for sure. He is a horrible dangerous man.
Reply
Jules
6/7/2018 07:56:59 pm
I recently visited my toxic and dysfunctional family members whom suffer from narcissistic personality disorder and sociopathy. I was with them for 3 days, yet when I came home I've been so exhausted that work has really been difficult this past week. I haven't seen these people for 9 months. My body is sore and all I want to do is sleep all day, not because I'm depressed, but just because I have no energy.
Reply
Ashley
8/23/2018 12:05:04 am
10 years with him, married for 5 of the 10 years. I had 2 stepkids i watched grow up and lost because of him. Its almost been 3 years now since i left and lately ive been feeling drained from my head throughout the body. Im hoping this is part of the healing process. Finally releasing the stress off my shoulders ftom him. This was a good read. Thank you.
Reply
Bernadeth
6/27/2019 08:27:11 pm
Currently I walked away from a friendship that was Narcissistic and sadly this is my neighbor. I am constantly being provoked with cameras being pointed at my front and back door, she has her followers harass me by yelling I am going to get attacked, her followers do her dirty work like at night they point flash lights in my face, pound on the walls and when I see my neighbor she is always cowardly jumping away and driving off. I know she started a smear campaign against me a couple neighbors have told me that she said don't mess with her because her new boyfriend is a cop and gaslight me. I have done nothing to harm this woman. I already had a mediation with her but she has broken every rule. I am looked as crazy because I have reacted to much. Now I am looking to move but I do not currently have the resources to move. I am going to expose her, and I am going to buy spy glasses and get a lawyer. If you ask me why I have not placed cameras like her is because we do not own the property but she illegally places cameras and when I call the landlord she takes them down and then puts them back up when she leaves. I am emotionally drained and I want no part in her sadistic games but I am constantly praying for a better outcome or miracle. Please send me positive energy and prayers that this hell will end. If you also ask me why I stop talking to her is because I got tired of her gossiping and talking so bad about my younger sister that at the time was baby sitting, picking up my kids from school and drooping them off to me at home. I was spending time with my sister but my Narcissistic neighbor was boiling in jealousy and said that my baby sister was inviting colored men to my house for sex and drugs while babysitting my kids. This Narcissist woman wants me alone and isolated because I know too much about her. She also complaint to the landlord every time my family came to visit that they where pounding on her walls and harassing her so now my family do not come over and I am completely sad.
Reply
Positivi
4/26/2020 01:23:03 pm
Hey,
Reply
Alicia
9/24/2019 03:01:36 pm
Dad was a narc so it was easy for me to fall into a narc relationship. The abuse was normal, no red flags. After 12 years with my husband I've finally woken up. I haven't made any drastic changes but I can finally smell the coffee. He has sucked me so deep into his distorted reality that I find it hard to differentiate between the truth and his lies. I work hard - I look after our kids & our home and I work 3 days a week. Because I work 3 days, he has to pull his weight on those days. He tells me that I'm away all week, that he looks after the kids, the house and works full time because I'm gone all week. He makes me feel like I've abandoned my family. The stupidest part is that he pressured me to go back to work after our youngest turned 2. He told me for years that I was useless and loved receiving handouts - all because I wasn't working but instead looking after our 4 young children. He use to compare me with working mums to show how pathetic i was. Now that I have a job (a really good one where I'm using my uni degree and loving the intellectual stimulation) - according to him I'm still a useless piece of shit. He has many reasons for this.
Reply
tracee
4/9/2020 03:36:32 pm
how long does the exhaustion last for ?
Reply
Rana
10/20/2020 07:58:44 am
I feel so exhausted to even explain myself to those around me who are asking why I seem to be so tired, not outgoing and fun loving person as I used to be years ago while I just lost the will to even live my every day life.
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Like the FFNAEA Facebook page by clicking the icon below!
Welcome
Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
December 2022
The Top 10
Here you will find my most popular posts for easier discovery.
Tightening Your Facebook Privacy Settings How Narcissists Make Sure You Never Solve Problems In A Relationship How I Lost My Identity The Fake Apology Effects of Emotional Abuse Why You Should Never Defend Yourself Against The Narcissist's Smear Campaign Emotionally Abusive Behaviors Going No Contact: A List Of What To Do And What Not To Do An Open Letter To All Survivors Who Just Got Out Of An Abusive Situation Emotional Rape Categories
All
Copyright Notice
©2016-2023. Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material (in full or in part) without the express written consent of this blog's author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Freedom From Narcissistic And Emotional Abuse with a link back to the original content.
Disclaimer
The content of this site is told from the blog author/owner's personal experience of dealing with a male Narcissist. Narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths are both male and female, and come from all walks of life. Furthermore, the content contained herein is not intended to be a replacement for medical or legal counsel. This blog's sole purpose is to provide support to those who have endured Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse.
|