When I read the book Psychopath Free, I was floored with how much I could relate to it. Although there were a vast number of parts to the book that struck a chord in me, one particular part got me truly thinking. And that part is having a Constant. Having a Constant in Narcissistic Abuse recovery is vital.
What is a Constant?
Merriam Webster defines the word constant as “marked by firm steadfast resolution or faithfulness; exhibiting constancy of mind or attachment.” When I read Psychopath Free, my eyes focused in on the one paragraph that defined a Constant. Your Constant could be a person, place or thing that brings you tranquility. “Imagine a higher power in your mind – one that brings peace to your heart. Colorful, glowing, and full of life. Embodying all of the qualities that you admire most: empathy, compassion, kindness. A gentle spirit who will always keep you safe.”
My mind wandered to who or what my Constant was. Was it my Mom? What about my Dad? A best friend? Who or what was always there for me no matter what?
So who is my Constant? My mom. Sure, we may have had our disagreements in the past. Sure, we may have argued. But you know what? When it all comes down to it, my Mom is the ONE person who gets me. She’s the one who has always had my back. The one person who supports me even though she may not totally agree with my decisions. Why a Constant is so vital So you have identified who your Constant is. But have you thought about WHY this person, place or thing was so important to you? What is it that makes this Constant stick out? The Constant is so important in our lives for one reason. It’s exactly like Psychopath Free says. That the Constant is “your private reminder that you are not crazy, even when it feels like you’re taking on the entire world.” Boy, is that ever true! I mean, when you feel like the whole world is against you or the Narcissist is creating an incredible amount of chaos in your life, you look to that one Constant to reel you back in to reality. To help keep things together. To help you have some semblance of peace and tranquility despite all the chaos that can be swirling around you. My Mom is and has been there for me since I was a little girl. Supporting me in whatever I set my sights on. When she saw behind my NX’s façade, did she try to warn me? No. Instead, she (and my Dad) lovingly walked me down the aisle when I married my NX. She was there for me during all the times I called her up crying hysterically over the phone because my NX went on another one of his tirades. She stood by me when my NX discarded me. My Mom even stood by me when I moved well out of state (and out of the area of family and friends) to begin a new life with my now husband. Bottom line Your Constant should be the one thing in your life that you can always count on. The one thing to help you maintain peace and tranquility. Who (or what) is your Constant? Comment below. And as always, I appreciate you for sharing your stories with me.
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Greetings, my warrior survivor friends! Welcome to my blog. I'm Julianna Jen, the owner and creator of this site. Check out the My Story section to read about why I started this blog. Thanks for stopping in. And feel free to comment on any post, share your own thoughts and stories. I would love to hear from you! Archives
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